*DING DONG!*

*Door opens* Hullo hullo hullo! Thought you mightn't be able to make it, but so glad you could! Come right in, step on the mat, leave your shoes if you'd be so kind. Right this way! Have a seat, just make yourself at home. And how are you? Glad to hear it! Shall we have tea, do you think?

A fine spread, don't you think? Why yes, a genuine crochet tea set! How on earth did you guess? Oh, yes, I assure you, every piece designed and hand-made by Yours Truly, and completely serviceable. Well, yes, you would think it would leak, wouldn't you? But you see, I've discovered the most MARVELOUS way to overcome that little difficulty! It's quite simple :: Don't Use Real Tea!

Do you think the tea has steeped long enough? I should say so. Marvelous speedy stuff, this Invisible Brew, you know. Will you take cream? And sugar? One lump or two?

Do be careful :: it's quite hot! And while you're waiting, won't you take one of these dainties?

You must try the petit fours and eclaire! Oh, dieting? Posh and tosh! Very well, if you insist on something a little more wholesome...

And in case someone Happens Along, we'll save them these little extra bits :: a lady finger cookie and a jam-center thumbprint.

I believe we are now supposed to make Small Talk, whatever that is. Let me see... Well, on Friday, I was ruthlessly dragged off to a concert by some lovely friends (you know who you are) in Revenge for some Naughtiness of mine. These very painful (delightful breathtaking exciting) Consequences were very very painful (wonderful enjoyable) to bear (seize upon) and I'm very very sorry for the Naughty Things I Did (contemplating doing it again jk!!). I suffered (enjoyed myself) immensely, but I am still unsure if I'll ever fit in with a concert-going crowd. You see a lot of people at concerts (BIG surprise, yes?) wearing their finest and pearls and suchlike, generally people I would never have an opportunity to mix with on a regular basis. They do seem to appreciate it, but they ARE so reserved and quiet about it. Not my lovely friends, of course :: they seem to have found a nice middle line, I wish I could attain. I still think that concerts should be listened to standing up, and you should be allowed to jump up and down and yell when the glorious themes sing out, and that clapping and poking each other and telling each other to "LISTEN!" and suchlike should be allowed. :P Like a sporting event, the crowd should roar when the brass picks up the melody and runs with it. Just my personal opinion. I can just picture myself, when the chords at the end of Liszt's Mephisto Waltz resolve themselves, jumping up and yelling, "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!" But that would hardly be acceptable, would it? Too bad!

You do notice that I've been holding my pinkie out this whole time? And taking very small, ladylike sips? And not reaching across the table? And refraining from stealing your cookies? All of this Being Have is wearing on my nerves...I don't know how much more I can take! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

*a few minutes later*

Ohhh, dear oh dear oh dear! What a way to end our little tea party :: with a food fight! Good job the tea service is mostly unbreakable! Would it be entirely improper to say that...I rather enjoyed it? *sigh* I thought it might. Ah well. I do hope you'll come again sometime, perhaps for lunch. I promise not to throw the salami! Cross my <3!

As for not posting yesterday, I have my excuse! And it is this:

Russian Weddings Take For-Blooming-Ever!!!

Do come back soon, because I've got a book from the library, and there will be a lot of Crochetery goodness coming up in the weeks ahead!

AMZi x x x x x