amAMZIng!

An Afternoon

2011-01-31T15:02:00.000-08:00

Needed to make something today. I'd thought about it last night, but I put it off. Then finding myself with nothing to do in the afternoon... well okay, I had plenty to do, but nothing that couldn't be strategically "rescheduled" for later... ;) Decided to pull everything out and mess around with art stuff I haven't touched in years. You can definitely tell I don't remember any technique from when I was like 10 and learned this stuff, but oh well. It was fun. :)

At the outset.... So many choices.

I think we have our decision... :)

I had an idea and I just followed it as it went along. Just wanted to slap some color down, and then I decided I wanted something underneath the big sheet of newsprint like cording or something, a little like making a rubbing only not really. Then I thought of Christmas lights... go figure... Did the whole thing on top of a messy strand of Christmas lights.

I started with a lot of green and some patterns and directions started to take shape... seemed like grass to me, dunno. I just kept going, pretty chaotic. :)

At the end... the cool thing about newsprint and lights is it can do this afterward:

I love this picture below:

And actually in between there I did something really rapid fire with the pastels but I didn't take pictures of it in process, my hands were ghastly... so skipping on to the watercolors...

And after a few hours, I was left with these:

Well, I had fun. :)

Snow Day!

2011-01-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

Yet again, my first day of school is snowed out... This makes two of the locations where I take classes. I have been out of school for over a month now. Going stir crazy, that's for sure! If I'd known I'd be stuck inside so much over these weeks, I'd have started some big project to work on, but the plan was to be back in classes two weeks ago! Now I keep saying, "Oh, I'll just clean something or read something today, no point in starting anything big because class starts in three days." Noooo beans. Looks like I'll be moseying around another weekend, reading, guitarring, watching phys lectures online from MIT... which I actually prefer to my own phys class. :)

Last night I was again bored so I started fiddling around with some stuff and made a few things that are pretty much worthless but were fun to make anyway. :P

First was a bobby pin with a daisy on it... Will have to make a few more of these for the sisters. :)

Next was a headband. Now that I have shorter hair (which I love, I am NEVER going back to high-maintenance inches and inches and inches!) I'm wearing more headbands and scarves since there's not a whole lot else I can do with my hair... Anyways, this took way longer than I expected haha, you never expect the circumference of your own head to be so...large... :P

And then another headband, this time experimenting with crocheting with beads! I've never done this before, but I've heard of it and I knew the general idea. What you do is thread the bead you want to use onto the string BEFOREHAND. Then you make a slip knot and start working, pushing the beads out of the way until you want them. At the right stitch, just slide the bead close to the hook and crochet it into the stitch. Pretty darn easy. :)

I am very much aware that I look evil in that picture... bwa. ha. ha. ha. ha.

I also did some experimenting with crocheting around a plastic ring. I put a lot of gold beads into the thread before I started and just added one every ten stitches as I went around.

At least the snow is pretty! I'm still a fan of the snow, very muchly. :)

Much colder and wetter, I present my pictures from outside... Got quite a dusting and it's frigid! Sorry for such a long post, but it's mostly pictures and I haven't posted in awhile anyway... :)

Two Posts in One Day

2011-01-10T08:02:00.000-08:00

Because I didn't wait long enough and just took some more pictures. Apologies. :)

On another note, and I won't say much about this because it's really just dawning on me in it full glory... I was wrong about people. And relationships with them. They will hurt you at some point, whether they mean to or not, even if it's just the fact that you may lose them eventually. That's not what gives people and relationships value OR what takes it away. The point is that in the process you're learning and giving. I thought I got that, I knew it in my head, but it doesn't click until you find somebody that's more important than you are. It stops becoming, "What can this friendship do for ME? What can I learn that will make ME a better person? What can this friendship help ME do/endure/acquire?" You progress to a stage of, "I just want to be a better person so that I can EARN this friendship. Like somehow I can deserve this amazing blessing in my life." Then you find a point where you're not even in the picture anymore, it's about them. The sooner I can take myself out of the picture, the better it is for them--complications go down, the focus can become outward instead of getting bogged down in the confusion going on in me. I don't know if it's possible, but I want to be the kind of person they somehow see in me. Believing in people is a really powerful weapon, so DO NOT underestimate it. I may not ever really deserve what I've experienced, but I can sure as heck work my tail off trying to make their life better. I'm getting off myself for once, or I'm trying to. Forget me, I'm not the point here. I want that to stick in my head and change the way I'm living. There's no room for anxiety if you just don't really care what happens to you, it's about the other people.

Snow

2011-01-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

I like. Still going strong. Feels really warm out. Snow day at school. It could be muuuuuuch worse. :)

Outgrown?

2010-12-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

At this point in life, everything seems to be going about three hundred miles per hour over the speed limit. "Now everybody, we're going to keep this down to a safe, steady pace, with lots of time for looking at the scenery and checking our instruments!" Life: Riiiiiiiiiight. *careens off anyway* "Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times... I'll be trying to keep on the track but it's going to be a wild ride!"

If it were a straight line, it'd be aaalll cool. I can handle that. You can look back, see where you've been, and look forward and see where you're going. And everyone else around you can as well, and you can pick up with them where you left off quite easily. Life: But what fun would that be? Instead I'm making very imprecise turns all over the place, things changing rapidly and sometimes changing back. I can't keep up with it all, much less communicate it to people!

Which is where the problem is. Friend take a lot of work, if you haven't noticed lately. They require frequent check-ups. If you neglect this maintenance, you wind up broken down on the side of the road and nobody knows what the heck you're talking about anymore! They're still back traveling a straight road and you've taken the exit ramp and are about four states away... cue an awkward conversation. I've been there a dozen times. Then they call you up, "Hey, where are you?" and you're like, "Well, I changed my mind... and then I changed it again, and then I changed it again... I'm a totally different person now... how's YOUR day been?"

Let it go a couple of months and then suddenly there's nothing to talk about. No more shared interests, which is about the only fuel I'm capable of running on. Sentiment is fine, but completely lost on me. Which probably you all know already, haha.

I never thought like this before... never considered that friends could be "outgrown" and phased out. I planned on being best friends with all my best friends for the rest of my blooming life. And I still plan on being friends with all my friends, at least parting kindly with good memories, but I'm waking up now. To the fact that people change. Especially me right now. And also that other people don't always like turning around to find a stranger at their backs. So I need to do that gently.

I won't always have the same connections with everyone that I once had. As I lose hobbies and pick up new ones, as my entire life really shifts gears in what I have to admit has been a short short time span, it's going to be difficult to pull that old-me out into the open and make her exercise her social skills. I used to be a writer. I used to be a history buff. I used to be into art and music mainly. I still LIKE art and music, and I still like history to an extent. Writing... I'm losing it. It's not such a part of me as I may have thought it was. But I'm definitely not guaranteeing it won't come back someday when I'm forty or so, haha. But the point is my interests have changed. It's not stories running through my head now, or accents or poetry. Not for the most part. It's equations and concepts and problems to solve, scientific facts and really random extremely nerdy trivia. People don't like to hear that. They expect you to get excited and bouncy about creative pursuits, or a new book coming out. They do not expect a "fangirl" reaction to, say, implicit differentiation. It will, repeat, will earn you blank stares.

So I spend all these years of my life building friendships with people who want to talk about and do things that are so far from my mind right now... it's hard to motivate myself. Catching up is hard, since everything moves fast and gets away from me. It would be the event of an entire afternoon to bring one person up to date sometimes. And sometimes I don't want everyone up to date. Sometimes I can't handle that kind of exposure. This is the difficulty when very very important yet very very private things happen to me. They change me but I can't explain them.

Bottom line(s): It's hard to tell people this and do it without hurting them. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I am always, repeat, always ready to listen. Send me emails. I read fast and I will write back. Listening is not the problem. The problem is me not being able to put things into words I'm ready for the world to hear.

It's hard to keep up with myself and everybody else. It's hard to go back and play a role that I'm just not anymore. A rock and a hard place. And I'm still, if you'll recall, going three hundred miles per hour over the speed limit I'd prefer.

This is my explanation, my apology. I'm not actually writing this to anybody in particular, but I know there are some of you I've hurt, completely unknowingly and unintentionally, by this distancing. I don't want it to be like this, but I'm lost for a cure, at least for now... bear with me, okay? Thank you.

AMZi

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

I feel a great urge to speak Russian. However, I do not speak Russian. So you are spared. :)

Merry Christmas everybody!

Greenery and bows notwithstanding, we have no snow. After two years of White Christmases shockingly, we appear to be back to your normal Kansas weather. Gray. I am not complaining. Yesterday it was the right kind of gray, and Mom was all like, "What gloomy weather!" and I was surprised. It hadn't occurred to me to dislike the weather. Some of you will know what the right kind of gray means. :) :)

I love seeing our family doing the gift exchange. You can definitely tell where the priorities are: Books and guns! What more can you want? Lots of books, guns, and also music. Which just goes to show the awesomeness. :) Speaking of the guns, el hermano got a big airsoft assault rifle. That's cool in itself, the thing is wicked accurate and besides looks intimidating! BUT also, the manual is written in Chinese or something with THE most hilarious online-translator English version! Ha! The best parts are as follows:

ONLY FOR 18 YEARS OLD OR UP: Operation of this air gun for competition use is restricted to users YOUNGER than 18 years old.
ATTENTION PLEASE READ IT BEFORE USE IT. It is for your to enjoy the fun of shoot that this soft ballistic gun is made.
[instead of "bullets" it always says "ballets"]
Those who shoot mischievously or train the gun on people or animals will probably be punished by law. [but you might get away with it!]
Your eyes will be hurt if the BB ballets shoots your eyes by chance, it is very dangerous. So don't look close to the muzzle at any time. [accompanied by illustrations :P]
THE MUZZLE SHOULD BE DIRECTION AT THE SAFE DIRECTION! [thanks for clearing that up...]
[there is a lid to cover the barrel of the gun when not in use] Shoot casually will cause great danger, so please shoot before you take away the lid [?? I think not!] and aim at the object.
THOSE INCIDENT, DANGER, HURT, REPAIR CAUSED BY THE WRONG WAY OF OPERATION, READJUSTMENT, DISMANTLE ARE CLAIMED TO BE THE RESPONSIBILITY.
Maintaining your fingers on the trigger may cause sudden discharge for some reasons, which is dangerous.
Because of the design of the air gun, there are places subject to entanglement of your fingers.
[next to a picture of the gun] The charming shape of gun!

Ha. ha. ha. Anyways, remember what Advent's really about. :) It's rather amazing, if you think about it long enough. Good thing to do the loooooong Christmas Eve night when the dogs are barking and the lights outside are reflecting on the walls.

Amzi

Been a Looong Time

2010-12-21T11:27:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try and blog some over Christmas break. Bit of a blogging failure, amn't I? Sadly it's because I don't do anything bloggish or blog-worthy during the school year. I've said before I doubt if y'all want to hear of my exciting (to me) escapades in calc and physics... :P Oh well!

I'm trying to knit some lately, trying to finish that one last annoying sleeve and stitch together the sweater, so there may be pictures of that in the nearish future.

Mainly now I'm on break I'm just all about music. Mainly my guitar. Thinking about getting a mandolin... been wanting one for awhile, and I can haz Christmas money... :) We'll see what happens!

Hospice today was...interesting. I'm not sure why I do this to myself, it's a bit of a shock getting more involved after so long keeping to myself in the front room. And always with the residentials. Oh well, it's what I'm there for. And I'll tell ya one thing, working there at all pretty much murders any sense of awkward/squeamish you have, but gently. It's a real neat place like that. :)

Yep, seems like there's not much to say here I haven't already said to other people... and if you know me you know I CANNOT repeat myself. Ever. I can't rewrite, I can't edit even very much, and I can't re-tell stories I've already told. I will try to keep that in mind in the next two/three weeks and remember to come here first. :)

Merry Christmas y'all!

AMZI

Appendix

2010-11-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

I took a few quick pictures just cause. It's raining out, and it was chillier this morning. So I needed these. :)

Easiest thing ever, I pretty much just chained about 20 (that'll vary depending on size of hand/hook/yarn--a chain that goes around the wides part of your knuckles rather tightly should work) joined it in a ring, and crocheted around and around forever. When I reached the point I wanted the gap for the thumb, I just stopped, turned the work, crocheted around, stopped one stitch short, turned again, crocheted around, chained, and skipped across the gap, thereby closing it in a sort of box. Finished going around and around as long as I wanted, cut yarn and tied off. Then I went back and crocheted a few rows in a circle around the thumb-gap, making a sort of tube... all in all very simple and not really worth a post but oh well. :)

Still Alive

2010-11-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

In a manner of speaking... :P :)

Lotsa stuff has gone on, I've been down to TN again to see Union University more thoroughly, and come away very (unfortunately) impressed! Means I have options. I hate options! I'm the kind of person who sees something that's just fine and wants to latch onto it. I can just see myself buying a house... *walks in* "This looks fine! Where do we sign?" Poor Unsuspecting Companion: "Whoa, whoa, can we get out of the hallway first??"

And I just looked at the clock and it said 12:12pm. I like these sorts of thing. Unfortunately I was driving at 11:11am on Nov. 11, but I've still got 11:11pm tonight (shhhhh, don't tell anyone I stay up that late!) and it doesn't matter as I've got my thoughts all day. :)

So anyways, can you tell I'm not easily distracted AT ALL... *not!*

Some more crafty updates, AT LONG LAST! And a bit of a rip off as it is, sorry, since I don't have any pictures yet. I'm anti-coats as a rule, it'll have to get down to the single digits for me to wear them regularly, but I must say it's not what you'd call "pleasant" to go out to the car at 7 in the morning and freeze my fingers off. And I'm anti-gloves because they annoy me. So anyways, I ended up crocheting some wristwarmer things to avoid frostbite in the mornings.

So anyways, can you tell I'm not dramatic or exaggerating AT ALL... *not!*

Pictures of those might come eventually whenever I'm un-lazy enough to go out to the car and get them...

Meanwhile, I bought something and I received it yesterday. :) Nice to come home from work to a package! While I was at Union, I met Rachel Carbonell, who makes hair accessory type things with her sister. See their etsy shop! I was like, heck! I'll buy somethin'! So I did. :) And since my hair was already up when I got home, I just pulled out the flower I was wearing and clipped this in all ad-libbed like that. :P

So anyways, golly do I feel all domestic and female now... Hmmm. I think a rubber band sneak attack is needed to re-establish my non-girliness. :P :)

.... *zing!* OUCH! Me: *evil laugh*

Well, duty calls, physics in particular, only slightly drowning out the yells of my calculus saying I ought to be studying for tomoz... off I go!

AMZi x x x x x

// he was one of us / he was just like us / but he loved this country enough to leave it / to go to blood and dirt and pain and keep believing / he was one of us / saving all of us / for God and country / i will proudly stand / giving everything / to defend this land / for Christ and kingdom / honor and freedom / i will take my place / no i'm not afraid //

Another Trip

2010-10-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

Ayi, I know it's been forever... *insert eloquent apology type stuff* Life is crazy now. I'm graduating early, which means everything I was going to do next year I need to do this year. Luckily (except I don't believe in luck) I've got my applications in to my two colleges and I've already been accepted to Covenant, which is nice. :) Speaking OF, the pictures in this post are from a trip to Cov last weekend, but pretty much none of them are actually OF Cov itself (I got those when I went in August). Mainly Chattanooga and some sunrise stuff from the overlook on the mountain. :) The ship picture is of the Nina and Pinta replicas that sailed up the TN River and docked just before we were going down to the waterfront!

Lots of essays to write, so I'm glad I've got an early start thinking about them. That's the most time-consuming part of the writing process for me, allowed a concept to roll around in my head for a couple weeks. The writing itself I can get done in about half an hour, revision likewise, it's getting the POINT that I want to make that take some "fermenting" time.

Aaand school is a handful, as always... Between missing class from PSAT and trips, coming home and catching up, taking tests, and trying to get AHEAD so that I won't die come November when I take yet ANOTHER trip... Yeah, basically I just open a book and go until I can't go anymore and then open another book... :P

Not to sound like I'm complaining...well, not TOO much. :P I still have a lot of fun. My calc class is great, and my physics class, though slow, is pretty darn awesome. I mean, experiments with Nerf guns and an air-powered rocket launcher? And I have amazing friends who make things better. And I also have a ton of homework I should be doing right now, so off I go!

AMZi x x x x x

Just Keep Swimming...

2010-09-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I'm like a shark! Sharks have to constantly move to keep water washing past their gills. They can never keep still in still water, or they'll effectively suffocate and DIE. Seems like that's how I'm feeling lately... I'm fine when I'm working, but if ever I slow down, WHAM, it hits me hard. I need a 15-minutes power nap, and it's only 11:00am! Black tea notwithstanding.

Anyhow, the weather here is lovely. I drive with my windows down all the time now, and it's just cool enough to be perfectly enjoyable. :)

And I'm more than usual interested in planes and choppers, as opposed to the usual interest in trains. I'm immensely fond of trains, but I'm in an aviation phase now. There's your trivial trivia for the day, what Amzi is thinking about lately. :)

Still plugging away at the good old education... so now I'm off to do some homework!
AMZi x x x x x

Camping Trip

2010-09-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

Spent one night in a tent, and it was perfect weather, a great location close by, lots of fun. :) And the next day we went to the range, which was awesome. :) I took a few pictures, so here they are.

Unfortunately Dad walked through this guy's web later on... ewww. Pretty though!

Easiest-to-set-up tent ever!

(Taken in the reflection of the car window)

Me playing with fire. That's a stick burnt on the end so it's a glowing coal, spun in circles. :D)

Can you tell I love the fire part of camping??

Our little compound.

Early in the morning...

More fire.

We cheated with our fire...

Had a lot of fun with this guy!

AMZi x x x x x

Occupied

2010-09-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

Busy lately with school and homework and suchlike. Which I enjoy :: I'm not complaining. Just when I'm not working, I'm sleeping, and when I'm not working or sleeping, I'm catching up with friends... leaving me a negative amount of time to spend crafting/writing/reading/drawing, ERGO nothing to blog about and no time to blog in anyhow!

Just a lot of this ::

(really boring algebra-based high-school physics)

Equipped with these ::

(Summit mug [!!!] and cartridge pen, which I use for notes)

And I noticed, taking that picture, the insides of the doors of my desk. (My desk is very cleverly built into my wall by el padre complete with shelving and a pull-out desktop that slides. Very cool.) The insides of the top cupboard doors have pictures on them.

On this door, all pictures drawn by me on my tablet. This is not the extent of my tablet work, but I don't have a lot of space left and it takes effort to print out pictures and cut them out, etc. etc. etc. :P

On this door, I drew the top picture, and the bottom one was drawn by an AMAZING artist who was in my writing class. So there ya go.

Off now, yet more homework to do. Test for American Gov. to be precise.
AMZi x x x x x

Long Weekend

2010-09-04T05:51:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how excited I am! Sleeping in, no work to go to this morning, no classes on Monday, I tell ya... I foresee knitting, reading what I want to read, listening to lectures I want to listen to, getting outdoors in this AMAZING weather, piano, guitar...and mountain dulcimer... :)

I mentioned the weather, yes? The weather is amazing at the moment! Chilly-ish in the morning, warm by the time you want to go out, so gorgeous. And the air, it smells like fall or something. It makes me crazy. :)

Ooh, speaking of crazy, I think I might write this weekend...or draw, I'm not decided. A big list of want-to-do's are piling up in my mind, and when they hit full Creativity Potential I think they'll all get done in a huge wave...

In the meantime I'll stay in bed an extra hour. Ha ha ha. :)
AMZi x x x x x

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

2010-09-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

This is by Dr. Bob Moorehead, whoever that is. They passed it out years ago at my old church, and I've kept it all this time. I still love it. Bit of a motto, you know?

I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed.

I have the Holy Spirit's power.

The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I won't look back,

let up,

slow down,

back away,

or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living,

sight walking,

small planning,

smooth knees,

colorless dreams

tame visions,

mundane talking,

chintzy giving,

and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence,

prosperity,

position,

promotions,

plaudits,

or popularity.

I don't have to be right,

first,

tops,

recognized,

praised,

regarded,

or rewarded.

I now live by presence,

learn by faith,

love by patience,

lift by prayer,

and labor by power.

My pace is set,

my gait is fast,

my goal is Heaven,

my road is narrow,

my way is rough,

my companions few,

my Guide is reliable,

my mission is clear.

I cannot be bought,

compromised,

deterred,

lured away,

turned back,

diluted,

or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice,

hesitate in the presence of adversity,

negotiate at the table of the enemy,

ponder at the pool of popularity,

or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up,

back up,

let up,

or shut up

until I've preached up,

prayed up,

paid up,

stored up,

and stayed up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I must go until He returns,

give until I drop,

preach until all know,

and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear for

"I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes."

(Romans 1:16)

AMZi x x x x x

Excuses

2010-09-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

For why I've not been posting. School's started full-on, and I'm a front-loader, so I'm somewhat busy this season. And I doubt if you'd be very interested in hearing about what's running through my head. Mainly because it's stuff about physics and calculus. Not exactly the sort of thing you expect on my blog, yes?

Still playing a lot of piano, mainly Le Onde (63 pages, 13 parts, 5 of which down, 8 to master yet) and I Giorni (66 pages, a bunch of parts, just one worked on at them moment) both by Ludovico Einaudi. And of course his Nuvole Bianche. Fabulous Hospice House-playing materials, they're so gorgeous and slow and unobtrusive.

Aaand...hmm...what else has been going on? Finally finished Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung, and actually GOT it finally there at the end. I'd had weird vague misgivings about his approach all while reading the book, but finally a sentence clinched it for me!

"But the Bible is not a casebook. It doesn't give us explicit information about dating or careers or when to build a church or buy a house. We've all wished that the Bible was that kind of book, but it's not, because God is interested in more than getting us to follow His to-do list; He wants transformation. God doesn't want us to merely give external obedience to His commands. He wants us to know Him so intimately that His thoughts become our thoughts, His ways our ways, His affections our affections."

Yes! Yessss!!!! That really struck me. Love what He loves, hate what He hates, no worries, mate. Don't fuss so much about what your decisions should be, but rather what the state of your heart and will should be.

Oh, oh, oh, want to know something really exciting? I have my own calculator now (shout-out to Keifer The Awesome Who Lent Me His Calculator For...like, Ever) and it's, it's, it's-- Well, JUST LOOK for yourself!

(IT'S GREEEEEEN!)

AMZi x x x x x x

Generally About Music

2010-08-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Been awhile, ain't it? Or is that just the days running together in my head? Ah well, I FEEL like I've been fairly busy...not actually super busy, just busy enough in short spurts to be too tired for anything but guitar in the off times. :) This is the view from where I sit lately. :P

And I love how these pictures came out, just a little fiddling around with exposure and contrast...and voila! (pun not actually intended, but hey, it works)

And a better picture of me puppy! I walked him last night down to the park, and we discovered two things... He's scared of bridges (little ones over streams a total of 2 inches deep) and small people's parked bicycles... Haha!

I'm getting my brain back into Spanish mode :: I've missed it! I've always loved songs in Italian and Spanish, but I've got a new favorite.

And also, my new favorite composer (it's all happened rather quickly, but now I've got all sorts of music by him and I'm cranking away at it) is Ludovico Einaudi. My current favorite and one I'm getting close on ::

Confession :: I've spent HOURS at the piano over last day and a half, what with this, this one, and the rest of Le Onde, and now I Giorni. I adore it. The reason why I know I've spent hours there is because I've got them down, and though they're both pretty simple, it takes me a couple hours to get a song solid and memorized. AND I'm returning to Hospice House! First day all over again today, I did miss that piano, but it really still isn't the same without Mr. Ralph. Oh well... seems like a different place, the new wing, new people, a new day (I used to go on Thursdays)... but same old piano! And in tune!

Weather's crazy here today! Windy, cloudy, cool, I love it. :)
AMZi x x x x x

PS this is my new favorite book. No joke. The ending... but it won't make sense unless you're like me, generally strange. I know a lot people who wouldn't get his refuge at all, but I understand exactly. It's amazing.

Favorite Songs...

2010-08-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

Of the moment. :)

My favorite word is Everlasting. :)

Oh my. Something about that... wow.

AMZi x x x x x

PS Amzi has started college classes and gotten her license, hence the busy-ness lately!

Authority

2010-08-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Listen to this quote from my American Gov. book (BJU Press) ::

"DAVID -- Before becoming king, David faced an ungodly government in the form of King Saul's personal vendetta against him. Despite almost being run through with a spear and then being hounded across the land, David remained respectful to Saul. On two occasions when presented with the opportunity to kill the king, David refused. He even expressed genuine sorrow for cutting off part of Saul's robe (1 Sam. 24:4-6), as this could be interpreted as a sign of rebellion. Furthermore, he commanded those under him to show Saul respect and refrain from hurting him. Later, when David received word of Saul and Jonathan's deaths, he lamented over both of them."

It's kind of amazing, if you think about it. David knew that authorities are put in place by God, raised up to exact judgment, or to show His power. Ungodly governments are not exempt from His sovereignty. That's a good thing to remember.

But even more striking, I find, is the level of respect for Saul that David has. I mean, I enjoy political cartoons, but the caricatures of the country's leaders could be considered disrespectful. I'm no fan of Obama's policies, and I'm guilty of calling him disrespectful names, in spite of the fact that he is our president and therefore deserves a level of respect. "But I didn't CHOOSE him as our president!" you (and I) have said. Okay, true, but guess what? God did. As Doc would say, "Put that in your pipe and...chew it."

And another quote :: "I love Obama, I just don't like his ideas. You need to do that with people--love them but be careful with their ideas." --Chuck Asay

That struck me. It IS our moral duty to work to reform our country, to fight injustices in it, to elect Godly representatives. We are NOT to abandon the "state" sphere, because our Christianity ought to permeate every aspect of life. HOWEVER we are not to become so wrapped up in our politics as to become like secular politicians. We are NOT to be assimilated and subsequently ignored. And we are NOT to let our excitement/outrage over issues and ideas drag us headlong into ad hominem. As Christians we maintain compassion for people, and solidity on issues. It's a fine line.

I'm loving the weather right now, but I'm freezing! Must finish that sweater, because I NEED it! :)

AMZi x x x x x

Ozymandias

2010-08-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

Poem I've memorized for a long time, and still love. :)

Ozymandias by Percy Shelley

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert, near them on the sand
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."

More are coming to my mind--mainly Robbie Burns. The Twa Corbies. I love that one. And When I Was One and Twenty by some other chap. And Very Like a Whale by...oh, whatsisname. I'll find them soon.

AMZi x x x x x

I Want To...

2010-08-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

Draw a picture...

Or paint a picture...

Or sew something historic...

Or maybe go to bed... NAAAAAH!! :)

Pondering, conversing, thinking, reading, and now blogging,
AMZi x x x x x

images (c) their respective owners

Cough Wheeze

2010-08-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

Made it! I'm back! Ayi, now I think life will settle down to normal. Thank goodness the school year's starting!

Interspersed you find pictures of our latest venture, to Tennessee, to the lake house, plus some minor excursions on my part to a couple schools down there. Bryan College and Covenant College, to be precise. Both awesome schools, but Covenant is incredible! And they gave me a T-shirt. Which of course makes all the difference. :P Haha!

Aaaand just about to get my driver's license, just need to go take the test. Nervous, yes? But it'll be convenient so I can drive myself to school. Maybe freaky, but still, good. And we've created a thingummy, to remember the streets in order like you remember the planets in order. Instead of My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas (minus the Pizzas now, poor Pluto!!) it's Queen Samantha Ate Muffins Not Rolls. Clever, yes?

Aaaand not much crafting going on at my end, unlike all the stuff going on in the blogocosmos but I have some ideas floating round in my head! Which is a promising sign. Just as I plunge into the time of year when I have NO time whatsoever...

Aaaand writing isn't really happening, but it's because I'm waiting for cold weather. It's vital to the "mood." I'll get there, y'all. Somehow.

Mainly still a lot of reading and studying going on! Updated book list:

Understanding the Times by Doc (David Noebel)
Just Six Numbers by Whatsisname (Martin Rees)
Economics in One Lesson by The Other Chap (Henry Haslitt)
El Dorado by the Baroness (Orczy)
A Prince of the Captivity by Buchan (John Buchan. Shaken, not stirred.)
Why We're Not Emergent by Two Guys Who Should Be (Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck
Just Do Something by The Guy Who Wrote That Other Book With That Other Guy (Kevin DeYoung again)

And still to come, as soon as I can justify starting new books...

Starship Troopers by Heinlein (already read but WANT to re-read!)
Unnatural Death by Dorothy Sayers (friend gave it to me and I STILL haven't gotten to it!)
Books by Kuyper and RC Sproul and Norman Geisler...piles of 'em!

AAAAND we got a dog! And he's amazing. Perfect little puppy! About 5 mos. old, a cockapoo who's more poodle than cocker (pookapoo?) and we're calling him Kuyper. Extremely smart little guy. Very sweet.

Aaaand I think that's it! Had a lot of fun, but it is good to be home. Lots on my mind, lots to pray about, but life is pretty darn good. :)

AMZi x x x x x

Breakthrough

2010-08-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside

You want to be someone laying down your pride

You want to be someone someday

Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside

You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today

Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire to be used by You

You want to be real, you want to be emptied inside

And I know my heart is to feel You near

And I know my life

It's to do Your will

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

All my life I have seen

Where You've taken me

Beyond all I have hoped

And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all You've done

So I give my hands to use

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

Still Reading...

2010-07-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

I have excuses for posting going down to every-other-day! That there is the pile of books I'm currently involved in. :P Plus I'm listening to a lot of audio lectures. So.

My friend and I are going through the Bible in a year, using this plan. It takes some commitment, but it's worth it! I'm excited to get to some books I haven't read in a long time.

Last week another lovely friend drove me to see the Babies documentary. It was very interesting.... lots of "Awwww" and "Yikes!" and laughing. You know how babies (and documentaries) are!

Yet another friend sent me the sheet music to play this on the piano. Instant Delight. <3

AMZi x x x x x

Edited to Add :: Contrary to popular (horrified) belief, the above song is NOT "from Twilight." It was by several accounts (I haven't seen the movies myself) used IN it but it is an entirely independent composition. Thank you very much. :)

Happification

2010-07-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have a new webcam. It is shiny. I am happified.

I (sort of) have a (sort of) new car. It is also shiny. I am happified.

I have discovered TtVs, whatever those are. Basically it means I take these awesome shots and layer them over my pictures. And they create awesomeness. I am happified.

AMZi x x x x x

Good Day

2010-07-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Hullo-ullo-ullo, what's all this?

Sorry, always wanted to say that. Anyhow. Knitting milestone has been reached! The...middle bits...front, back, etc...whatever! Everything but the sleeves is finished! I clipped the pieces together to make a sort of "mock-up" and see how it'd fit. I'm very happy with it! And I'm over halfway through one sleeve. So.

Hair flower of the day. :) My favorite color seems to be evolving through the color wheel. Let me explain what I mean by that. For a long time when I was younger, my favorite color was BLUE. Then it changed definitely to GREEN and has remained GREEN for a long time... but lately... I'm noticing something. Though I'd never given YELLOW a second glance, color-wise, it's slowly but surely becoming my favorite color. Above all. It just is so amazing! I need more yellow in my life!

And here's the sleeve status, in the afternoon light which is now fading. I might finish it tonight, or I might read one of the many books I'm in the middle of... Just Six Numbers, Understanding the Times, a PG Wodehouse collection, The Westminster Confession of Faith, Economics in One Lesson... you get the idea. :)

Quote I just heard: "If somebody gives you a definition of 'postmodern,' by definition, it's not a definition of 'postmodern.'" I just heard it from Jimmy Long, but he may have been quoting someone else. I'll leave you to think about that for awhile. :)

AMZi x x x x x

Insert Snazzy Post Title

2010-07-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Oeps, sorry. I didn't mean to be silent so long, not even sure if I have any good excuses... ah well, here's what I've been up to, besides general study and thought of course.

My knitting is coming along MAJORLY, due to listening to this book, narrated by the brill narrator I can't remember the name of. Oh well. It's a bit "older" than the first one (The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie) but still good. Caution :: Lots of British language if that bothers you. As for the jumper, hard to tell, but it's white and blue, and I've got the back (that's the inside of the back you can see, the other side looks just like the front of the side you can see) and one side front. The other side front is on my needle atm.

I am, ahem ahem, writing again!! Finally, at long last. I am working on Chapter 8 (hitting the point where all my plans trickle off and I have to actually THINK about the writing and the plot) BUT I am also working as of now on a brand new story idea I'm really excited about. I'm having a lot of fun with it. Yeh.

And, big news, I got to talk to my friend Jane in Britain face to face yesterday! Through Skype! *cue Hallelujah Chorus* Apparently she didn't know I wear flowers in my hair. I do, rather. See? :P I have that rose, a gigantic green Gerber daisy, a frilly bluish something (can you tell I'm not really a botanist anymore?), a yellow daisy, and lots of little white rose-ish things in miniature.

And I'm cooped up inside because it's literally sweltering out. I kid you not. Opened my window for five seconds to take some pictures and I couldn't actually breathe. Lately, we had a heat warning for our county with 110 degree heat index and 70% humidity. I believe it.

Very tired now, was up like all night with ideas for the new story, so... popping off now to get some real life done. :)

AMZi x x x x x x

Waves of Stripes

2010-07-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

Wrong side...

Right side...

And during my knitting, I'm listening to Focus on the Family's new radio drama, The Screwtape Letters. It's FANTASTIC, so much easier to grasp in this form than in the actual book form. Definitely recommended!

Got a lot on my mind lately but very little of it is able to be put into words. I'm also reading Just Six Numbers, which is an amazing book. Mind-boggling. I like to jump into that mindset and just think about it, but take it to a different place. For the author, it's a huge "what are the odds" or a huge "multiverse potential," but I find those far fetched. He almost sounds like he's arguing against his own view--that everything that exists is a product of random chance. I see these incredible numbers and mind-blowing concepts, and say, "Wow. And this is just the Creation. You want mind-blowing? Wait till you see the Creator."

AMZi x x x x x

Coming In For Landing...

2010-07-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

*skids into home base* We made it! We survived! For the most part, anyhow...

After some cards...

My grandma's gorgeous baby grand...

A visit to the cemetary...

Some seriously adorable kittens...

And their very patient mother...

And a rainy day shot of a fence...

And a great sunset...

About 40 hrs of driving (this pic was taken as we set out for home)...

Going a little crazy...

Over 2,000 miles in a van with five other people... sleeping on friends' floors...sunburn and allergies...dogs and cats and LOTS of card games...

We Made It!

AMZi x x x x x

Checkin' In

2010-07-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

Not much to report! More driving... more goofy-ness in the car... shadow puppets, anyone?

Oh, forgot about those shots I got before we left that house. Now we are very comfortable for two nights in a hotel with MUCH BETTER internet. I therapied with grooveshark last night and it was sooo enjoyable! Missed my music, I did!

AMZi x x x x x

On the Road Again

2010-07-05T10:57:00.001-07:00

Very looooooong but satisfactory car ride all day yesterday.

I'm now shutter-happy because I have rechargeable batteries. I feel invincible!!

We have a lot of fun...

I grew some antlers while I was riding along...

This shot was an amazing feat of timing. The camera was off...we were waiting for a church to come by... we had given up hope... a church approaches! ... el hermano snatches my camera, turns it on, snaps the picture, with PERFECT position! Brilliant! It's now my profile pic on facebook.

Though I might change to this one, which I also love. We all have awesome sunglasses, sometimes even two pairs! I love my aviators... :P

As for what I've been up to, post-driving :: I rode in a Jaguar while el padre was driving and la madre was not around to make us slow down. I'll leave that up to your very active imaginations. *cough* AND I shot off a really really big gun. Six chambers. I killed the target. And now my hand is bruised, but it's totally worth it. And we played some cards.

From Ohio, over and out,
AMZi x x x x x

Off Again

2010-07-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Here I am, FINALLY getting around to posting after like 3 days...just in time to say, "So long, mates" before we dash off on a road trip for a week. Timing, yes? Brilliant.

I have been holding off posting only because the LGM was out of batteries and not taking any pictures, and I'm stingy and don't like to spend money on things that run out. Like batteries. So, we had a problem there. But yesterday, I bought a set of rechargable batteries and the charger, so the camera is in business again!

Update Number One :: I did make that hat I was telling you about. And I do like it. I can't believe I can pull off a hat. It's making me adventurous, though I have gotten the hippie label now. No one will let me wear it out (which is all right since it's usually upward of 90 degrees in the heat) because I "look like I'm from Manitou Springs." Well, I kinda am, recently! :P

And I'm sooo savvy I can read and study and listen to music and crochet at the same time!

Or maybe not... frogging...

Finished!

Update Number Two :: I did say adventurous, didn't I? Well, how adventurous? Stripes!

I was wanting some darkish red to go in with the lot to make it really all the nautical colors, but it's not to be. :P And that would make it hard to carry the colors up. I really really hate changing colors with knots and any other way. So I just leave the blue yarn hanging off to the side and pick up the white yarn loosely, and knit two rows with it. And vice versa. So much easier!

Update Number Three :: For my birthday, I got this!!! and this!!! and they are woooondeeerfuuulll! Buy them and play them! You will love them!

So goodbye for a week, maybe longer...
AMZi x x x x x

Decision

2010-06-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

I have leaned...leaned...leaned...FALLEN for one of those jumpers I showed y'all yesterday! Which one you ask?

http://www.berroco.com/exclusives/avocet/avocet_b.html

Actually, Number Two, the simple garter-stitch, button-less cardigan. I like the drape and fit of it, and if I make the X-Small version, and hike it down a set of needles, and check my gauge, I think it will fit ME properly! Now to scrounge up some yarn... I have about 340 grams of a nice navy I like (because that nautical jumper rubbed off some on me too) but I'm going to need something else. I'm thinking white stripes. I saw something like that at Old Navy in a jumper, and I like the whole sailor feel to it. Fairly narrow stripes, by the way.

Yarn to be picked over on Friday (my birthday!) so updates then, y'all!
AMZi x x x x x

PS Brilliant friend of mine from Summit recommended GrooveShark to me :: a free, legal, easy music listening site. I. Love. It. I'm getting my fill of Nightwish on it at this very moment--"Amaranth," "Nemo," and "Over the Hills and Far Away."

Knittingbugs

2010-06-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hahaha, I've caught it. I neeeeeed to knit something. And at present, it's looking like that something will be a jumper...sweater...cardigan. Whatever you call it. That's what I mean by jumper.

I've been surfing the interwebz for free patterns, all the while half-griping because I hate patterns. So many of them annoy me. And almost all of them are too...wide? for me. Not politically correct term, I'm sure. Whatever. But I have found some I like--or at least I like the idea of them...

This one I like, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the ukulele I actually like...

This one I like a lot... no buttons, simple lines... garter stitch. *cough*

Can't show the picture for this one, but lose the stripes, and I like the shape of it.

Kind of like this one but it requires circular needles, which I have a phobia of buying. :P

Lose the flowers on this and I like it too. I'm finding I'm liking the closer-fitting ones, or else ones that hang straight rather than just bulking everywhere.

This one I love... ditching the version with faux gold braid, but it keeps the nautical feel. Love. It.

I think I like this one , though it may be just the color. Problem being I don't think I could pull it off, with that low closure and all.

I like how comfortable this looks, but it'd be IMMENSE on me. It's a tending-toward-looseness type anyhow!

This one's really what I had in mind... the straight collar/edge thing, button-less, etc.

So! Thoughts? Opinions? As if I have any money whatsoever to be spending on yarn, *laughter* I know. But I like to look around... I also kinda want to try my hand at this but... I've never been a hat-wearer, and I'm proud of it. And it has NOTHING whatever to do with claustrophobia... *nods like crazy* Of course not. Heh. Tight spaces all of me can fit in give me a thrill, actually, but wearing a hat or helmet that boxes off my peripheral vision drives me bonkers. That style isn't in my way though, so I'm not sure... we'll see!

AMZi x x x x x

Ladybugs

2010-06-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been crafting at all since coming home...that's one part of my old life I just haven't reopened. But yesterday I did whip up something tiny. And I mean TINY.

Actually, a little girl I was babysitting had an actual pair of earrings that looked like ladybugs. I thought that was brill, but I didn't know where to get them (and I don't spend money--it hurts!) so I decided to make some myself.

All I did was take a pair of those crystal surgeon's steel studs you can get 6 of for like $2. I happened to have two pairs of basically the same thing--medium "diamond" looking studs. Using one pair, and some of my eons-old Sculpey clay, I modeled the ladybugs. Stabbed the posts through a piece of paper into a teased cotton ball, so they'd stand up while baking. Baked for only 5 minutes and that was it! Super easy. And I love the result. :)

AMZi x x x x x

Freeman Stand or Freeman Fall

2010-06-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

Scots Wha Hae
by Robbie Burns, June 24, 1786

Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled
Scots wham Bruce have aften led
Welcome tae your gory bed
Or tae victory

Now's the day and now's the hour
See the front of battle lour
And see approach proud Edwar'd pow'r
Chains and slaverie

Wha'll be a traitor knave?
Wha will fill a coward's grave?
Wha sae base as be a slave?
Let 'im turn and flee

Wha for Scotland's king and law
Freedom's sword will strongly draw
Freeman stand or freeman fa'
Let 'im on wi' me

By oppression's woes and pains
By your sons in servile chains
We will drain our dearest veins
But they shall be free

Lay the proud usurper low
Tyrants fall wi' every foe
And liberty's in every blow
Let us do or die

More Like WHAT?

2010-06-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

Haha, sorry, I just heard about this and needed to blog it. Wow. Still reeling. You've got to be kidding.

In the words of el padre, "not all Christian music is created equal." Listen to this...

Sound good? Let's just pick this apart a little.

Give me rules / I will break them / Give me lines / I will cross them :: This is called Antinomianism. More on this in a moment.

I need more than a truth to believe in / I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes / To sweep me off my feet :: So your faith is therefore based on a feeling. Does this mean that when you feel like you're all alone, your faith doesn't exist? Does Christianity become any less of a "truth" when it's difficult?

More like falling in love / Than something to believe in / More like losing my heart / Than giving my allegience :: Am I the only one who sees the insanity in this? Feelings, emotions, no thought. The minute you STOP feeling like your head is spinning and your heart is leaping, where are you? What do you have left?

Give me words / I'll misuse them / Obligations / I'll misplace them :: And did we want to actually identify this as a bad thing? Because it isn't something to be proud of.

Cause all religion made me / Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet :: No, the word for that is the "law." The law that man couldn't keep. The law that requires perfection, which nobody can achieve. That's the REASON for GRACE. That's not "religion."

Back to Antinomianism. Definition :: The belief that moral law is of no use or obligation because faith alone is necessary to salvation. YES, "By grace you have been saves, through faith," and NOT by works (that belief is called Legalism :: earning your way to salvation) BUT ALSO, "By your fruit they shall know you" and "so also faith apart from works is dead." Antinomianism, taken to its simple, logical conclusion, leads to a "I have my ticket to Heaven because I prayed a prayer, so till then, I'll party!" mindset. If you truly have faith, the Holy Spirit should be working within you, convicting and weeding out the habits of the world. Give me rules / I'll break them is NOT a Christian worldview, it's just another form of Postmodernism.

I don't have anything personal against this Jason Gray guy. Till today I never knew he existed. I'm not pretending to know anything about the state of his salvation--that's not my place. But I do know that on this account, he's wrong. I can only hope he never has to "give an account for the hope that is within [him]" because saying, "I just...it just swept me off my feet! It's like... falling in love" will NEVER cut it with a thinking questioner.

AMZi x x x x x

Reef All Sails!

2010-06-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

Now we can actually GO somewhere! Pretty sweet, yes?

And you can see my awesome cannon now, shiny and such. Don't worry, we'll put it back inside the ship where it's more useful. :)

Now... if only I had a rudder!
AMZi x x x x x

Piece of China

2010-06-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Here's one ::

And here's another ::

I'm very lucky to have un abuelo fabuloso who travels the world. Muchly. Like eight times, they've been on these world cruise things. The cool part is, every time they go somewhere, el abuelo brings me back some rocks! I have quite a large collection now, rocks from various places around the world. It makes me happy. :)

This is the rock that started it all...

I have lots more but can only share a few with y'all...

From Jordan... yes, the red sandstone one changes color in the sunlight!

...The southernmost city in the world, I believe. The very tip of Tierra del Fuego, Patagonia, Argentina, South America.

So... needless to say, this is VOLCANIC rock. :P

Generally the rocks are interesting (like that melded Devil's Island one) just geologically speaking. Or sometimes they're just sentimental. I've got several from railroad lines... have I mentioned my love affair with the railroads? The old kind. The real kind. I caught the bug from the very same abuelo who made his fortune on the Illinois Central line and is just all about trains! Something about them... even just coal carriers these days. Love it. :)

AMZi x x x x x

Ahoy!

2010-06-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

Time for another update on the progress of my shipbuilding! Rather, the building of MY ship by el hermano who is savvy. Check it out!

Dude! Masts, bowsprit, dude! And you can't see it (poor you) but my cannons are actually fully modeled and historically accurate. *nods* The water/sky contrast is a nice touch, yes?

This rocks my socks. El hermano, being savvy, but not ALL-savvy, wasn't sure how to pull this off, but he did! I love how you can see the flash of red from the bunk inside. :) Yes, yes, brill, don't I know it!

Today I'm hoping to buckle down to another area of my "real life," that being writing... So far I've acclimated back to laundry, reading a lot, room-tidying (as in, actually having materials in said room to tidy, rather than living conveniently out of a 4 sq. ft. suitcase!) and my piano. Still need to get back into the swing of violin and writing. And get my schedule under control. I never sleep past 7 am, and lately I've been rolling out of bed around 9! Siiiiigh. Ah well. We'll get there. Eventually. :)

So I'll type up what parts of Ch 8 I wrote while on my trip, and then we'll see about some actual action!

AMZi x x x x x

The Report, Concluded

2010-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Really this post is just an excuse to use the pics I took at the park. There's a great big park just a little ways away from Summit, and three times a week we'd go there for the afternoon. Volleyball nets would be set up, games of soccer, football, ultimate frisbee, you name it! Plus a lot of jam sessions in the shade. Time to catch up on reading and for some of us, sleeping!

And they had swings! :)

And tennis... see, the closest I've come to playing tennis in the recent past has been Garage Pong...which is a completely different sport! So, not knowing how to hold a racket, much less SWING it, I set off to play tennis. Ha ha. Wipe that look off your face.

Actually, though it looks like I abandoned the sport in favor of snapping macro shots, I did play! What's more, I hit the ball! What's MORE, the other time I played, I hit the ball in more or less the right direction (some of the time). Ah well. I had a lot of fun, which is saying something for someone who avoids round sporting objects like... *shudder* balls!

Behind the park they had some real nice trails, which I only ventured into once on our last park day, which I'm sorry about because they were lovely. The red flower picture in my first report was taken there. And the yuccas were blooming. They also have this epic stuff in Colorado called spear-grass. Let's just say it's pretty darn awesome and leave it at that.... heh heh.

Readjustment is rough. I felt great there, probably because the elevation raised my pathetically low blood pressure (like, I could stand up without passing out). I like Kansas, but I miss the mountains, and the red roads, and the lack of humidity and mosquitoes! Ah well. This is real life, not that, but I'll do anything to get back there next year! Everything about that place was so amazing....

AMZi x x x x x

The Report, Continued

2010-06-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

The Sightseeing Report!

The Air Force Academy! Dude, the highlight for me was the chapel. It's amazing!

Architecture, what? So cool!

I love how it reminds me of a paper airplane... folded and stuff. Fitting, yes?

Organ...woah... *in shock*

I like this shot. :)

I also saw the Olympic Training Center. This was somewhere just inside the front door.... The cool thing is, at that elevation, the balls go about 3 ft higher than they would normally, so the gym ceiling is WAY up there!

We drove up to the top of Pike's Peak.... the summit itself was under cloud cap, so we couldn't see anything from the very top, but we were literally in the middle of a cloud! Which was cool. :)

I love the sky and the lakes up that high....

Quite a view!

And this little guy we met at a lodge about 7 miles up I believe... must be completely tamed by visitors because he walked right by the car and sat down to pose for us!

There you have it... I still have pictures from the park to show y'all though, so we'll continue in this vein tomoz!
AMZi x x x x x

I'm Back!

2010-06-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

After two weeks in Manitou Springs, Colorado, a day in the Black Forest, and a day on the road. Plus a day of recovery yesterday. I appear to be on Warp Time Zone--where I sleep on CO time, eat on Hawaii time, and lose track of all time regardless of what's going on. Forget Kansas time!

So...the Report. Y'all should check out the website, summit.org. The Summit, student conference in CO, I can stand as witness to. It roxx. Epically.

No seriously. It's hard to describe :: all of the awesomeness is still swimming around in my head...or maybe that's the change in elevation... At any rate, it's a shock to come back, like I've got torn up by my roots. Which is strange. I wasn't homesick for home while AT the Summit (too busy making friends, learning new things, doing all sorts of stuff, etc.) but now that I am home, I'm homesick for the Summit!

I've always been looking for a place where I fit. I remember distinctly trying to find it in churches we've been to. Waiting to fit in, to become like the other girls (and I wanted so badly to be like them). It never clicked. The church we attend now is very nice and I like it there. When asked, I would tell my friends, "It's as close to a home as a person like me is ever going to find."

Well, I was wrong. I found it. Summit is a place where there are people like me. Let me explain that, because it's not quite enough yet. I have various "groups" or "classifications" of friends :: my writing friends, my music friends, my doctrine/theology friends, my friends who think, my friends who laugh. I hope I can say that for every area of interest, every passion of mine, I have at least one friend I can share that with.

But at Summit, I can be ALL of me. That means a lot to an introvert like me :: it takes so much work to bring myself into the outside world that it can be tempting to just drag out one element of my character--the entertainer, or the nerd, or the writer, or the musician. Whichever aspect is most convenient. It takes about three solid hours of interaction to get past whatever element I pulled out, and then you get closer to the real me. At Summit, I don't need to be one element. I can be ALL of me, every aspect, and people know it and they don't care. They can see me, varying from hour to hour like every other human being. See the music, see the thinking and arguing, see the joking and laughing, see the need for solitude and peace, see the joy or the pain or the anger. It's a place where I don't have to review everything I say to check for politically-correct-ness. THAT aspect alone is worth the price of the conference!

Not to say that we're all alike there. Not by a long shot! The difference is, you can disagree without getting stomped on. You can sit down over dinner and have a nice logical conversation with someone who is vastly different. People all around you are hearing new things, thinking new things, following their beliefs to their conclusions and seeing where they're headed. And everybody knows it.

It is nice not to be such a minority anymore. To have at least five people I can count on to back me up and help me out. It changes my outlook from argument-weary to argument-worthy.

And this post has turned out super long, so I'll leave you with that. Tomoz I think I'll give the report of what I did in between all of this home-niche-place-where-I-belong finding. :)
AMZi x x x x x

Hello Again

2010-05-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

False Alarm! Got you! :P

Just kidding. After a long day, I am in Colorado. And it is TOMOZ that the no-internet business will start. :) So here're just a few pictures we snapped today.

Bye, y'all!

AMZi x x x x x

Goodbye

2010-05-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

Well, my last post before I take off for two weeks. No access to electronics whatsoever. Ergo, no posting. Sadness. :(

Ultrasadness because I just received something by post and it's very exciting and I wanted to show you... But no matter! When I return, I shall personally take you on a little tour round the world, in a way. We'll have lots of fun.

And besides the shopping (I'm actually far from broke, but I'm a lot broke-ER than I usually am :P) and the packing and the lists and the counting and the planning and the *yawn* break-taking, I've been to the pool for the first time this summer! Opened early. I did NOT get in all the way, it was perfectly FRIGHTFUL but the sun was nice and it was refreshing as deep as I got. So now I have that tired feeling, comfortably hot, you know that you get after you've been out in the sun and the water and then you come back in. I really just want to go to bed, but I've got a suitcase to load up. *sigh*

So I'll see you all later, around the 13th, and I've got stuff to show you then, so don't forget about me in my absence! :)
AMZi x x x x x

Lists

2010-05-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

It's been dodgy round here lately...seems like one minute I'm crazy busy with all this stuff hanging over my head, and the next, I'm sitting around with nothing to do! Company coming, going. Writing and then thinking and putting off and then making myself write again. Abruptly running out of my rack of books to read (AAAH!!! *instant shiftlessness*). Suddenly remembering that I'm supposed to have a Bourree memorized by this morning... *cough* hope my violin teacher isn't reading! :P Trying to figure out what to take, what not to, how to SURVIVE two weeks without my simple comforts...

One being music. I am so dead here. I'm taking the guitar conmigo pero no puedo tomar my iPod. I keep catching myself saying, Oh, it's okay, I'll be fine, if I get upset, I'll just listen to that one--no. No, I won't. AAAHHH!

Remember that post from day before yesterday, I think? I hope they have leafy trees in Colorado. I hope they have big sunny skies. Dorothy, you won't be in Kansas anymore!

So I've been making lists. Don't get me wrong :: I make lists all the blooming time. I make lists every day, for multiple reasons. I usually have a master list, utilizing good old pen and paper, with checkboxes and everything I have to/want to get done that day. I love checking them off! If I forget to add something and I do it, I will actually add it after the fact just so I can check it off... Yeah, I get that look a lot. :)

And I keep tucking away little things, adding things to lists or to the Bag of Awesomeness (aaahhh! Did I mention yesterday that it is GREEN?????). Things that I KNOW will completely change my mood from terrible to amazing... Like this book ::

This. Book. Is. Amazing!!! A brill friend gave it to me a few years ago (after I kept trying to steal her copy...always found out by the un-suppress-able laughter...rats) and ever since, it's the one thing I can count on to make me completely forget to be mad/sad/whatever. I will laugh out loud (very loud) no matter how many times I've read a particular sentence. Take this for example ::

"An angry Martin Luther nailed ninety-five theocrats to a church door. The Pope's response was to declare Luther hereditary."

Noooo, Pope, you don't say?? Watch out for his children!!

"Calvinists were the only ones who believed in pre-detonation. It is not surprising that their preaching consisted mainly of dogmatic explosions."

You have got to be kidding!! That is like...like a genius thought it up as a joke, instead of a mistake on a term paper!! Oh, and I am very much a Calvinist, if it sounds like a disrespectful joke. It's just hilarious!

Oh, and some AMAZING unintentional French jokes. (Sorry, Frenchies, nothing personal really, I just...yeah...grrr...haha)

"The Quebec Act was an Intolerable Act because it would have required Americans to learn French in school."

HEAR HEAR! INTOLERABLE, I TELL YOU!

"Another problem was that France was full of French people."

Ohhhh, that explains EVERYTHING! XD

If I don't stop, I'll go on forever! WARNING :: Not all of the book is exactly PG... Heh heh. Mainly misspellings of inconvenient terms... You have been warned.

But everything's kind of winding down before it winds up, if that makes any sense... Two more days!
AMZi x x x x x

I Have Been Swayed

2010-05-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

To this point in time, I have been a staunch Pockets Person. I was NEVER ever ever a Purse Toter. (Ooh, that sounds so derisive, say it really sourly :: PURSE TOT-er *shudder*) Ever. But in the course of human events, as they say, some things happened. Things Generally Do.

These things cause el padre to have fits about me not being a PURSE TOT-er because it was inconvenient. What's worse, Pippin took his side! (Pippin, how COULD you??) Though she did make some good points--get an over-the-shoulder bag, and you won't put it down and walk off without it (which I what I do). Sigh, sigh, conniptions, fits, tears, sighs again...okay, not really. I kinda moaned a little and rolled my eyes at the most. Dramatic sighs are just more dramatic.

I knew I wouldn't consistently carry a purse (ugh what a word! Let's say "Bag" shall we?) unless I seriously loved it. Just like I wouldn't wear a watch unless I found one I really really liked. (Which, by the way, I did, and it's big and clunky and leather and ivory-faced and has the timer ring and is like a parachuter's watch with big numbers and all and it PWNS) I'm thinking camo. I could deal with a camo *cringe* purse.

No beans. But guess what I found instead? A bright green satchel-type shoulder-bag awesomeness thing! I have been converted to the Bag-Carry-Ers Society. Yes, I'm afraid it irrevocably true.

It's got nice pockets and it holds everything, from sunglasses to wallet to phone to camera, with room for a book or two if I get bored. :) I guess it WAS about time, as I'll be traveling soon and will want something to carry my effects (what a word!) in....

But PLEASE let's not call me a Purse-Toter. More like a Bag-Slinger. Yeah. Like a gunslinger, but...with...a bag.
AMZi x x x x x

Three Things...

2010-05-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

That are so Awwesooooome that I just can't get over them! You'll probably hear of them again from me before long. I just can't get over them.

Thing #1 :: The way the floor shakes when the elders walk up the center aisle of the church in unison. I wait for this, two times every week, as they're distributing the Lord's Supper. For some reason it just gets to me! I had to put it in a book, Allemande to be exact, because it was such a tangible thing.

The organ sang out, the strains of the hymn rising into the high ceiling, echoing wonderfully down the nave. I could almost feel the deep tones of the foot-pedals humming through the pew into my back. Then the organ burst into a resounding chord and died away, leaving silence still colourful to my ears.

I caught a metallic clink from far behind me—the distinctive sound of a shining plate being passed. Then the elders walked forward in unison, up the aisle toward the front of the church.

I scooted forward on the pew until my feet reached the floor. I laid the soles of my shoes flat against the stone and waited. The six elders approached steadily, rank on rank of feet. They passed our pew and the vibrations of their footsteps travelled into my feet. I smiled broadly as they passed and settled back into the pew.

Why did I like the feeling of all those feet marching solidly up the aisle? I couldn’t explain it, but it seemed one of those odd pleasures allowed to me, since I couldn’t see. Others had the way the daffodils’ stems bent at the head; the way pale green and pale pink looked so well together; the way snow glowed in the little shower of light from a lamppost. I had the reverberating footsteps of the elders as they took the communion plates to the front. It was almost enough.

When I was young, Mum made me a big, heavy book, bulging with thick pages. It overflowed my lap when I opened it and spread my fingers on the page. She pasted a bouquet of textile delights into the hefty paper. Thick velvet, and rabbit pelt, and sandpapers of various coarseness. A cool, sticky piece of flat silicone, a wrinkled piece of paper pulp, and a square of shaggy carpeting. Leaves with distinct, raised veins, Chinese coins with holes in the middle, lumpy woollen yarn—every spread became an exploration.

I traced the embossed cover of the hymnal as I stood to sing the hymns I knew by heart. And the echoes of my thoughts surged through me like the shaking of the floor under the feet of the ages.

Thing #2 :: Fences in the fields in the summer...

Man, a scene like that just makes me crazy... When you're driving out (South until the streets stop!) and you get to a hillside with a big green field and a fence and a bunch of black cows... Maaaan. That's it, I'm telling you.

Thing #3 :: The way the leaves rustling sounds just like the ocean...

I love the sea. I love the Great Lakes. I love little lakes. I love cow ponds. Okay, I love water, period. But I live in landlocked Kansas. Small problem, yes? But it doesn't matter! It makes all the difference when the spring finally comes and the trees leaf out at last. It's amazing.

Anyway, so that's what I've been thinking about lately. I've been writing Chapter 7 on and off while working on this post (pictures take for blooming ever to upload) and I think I've just finished it. AND once again, I didn't actually get to the point I was hoping for (reporting to the Admiral) but it's already 1,000 words over my goal/limit. So, I guess we'll arrive at the fort NEXT chapter! *sighs*

AMZi x x x x x

Soooooooo...snore

2010-05-22T18:14:00.000-07:00

*wakes up* Oh! Yeah! Title! *cough* Sooooooooo...Tired. Indeed.

Very muchly. We went bicycling this afternoon, and I hold up well enough during the ride, it's just after it... I... die.... Sort of. I am so tired.

Add that to preparing mentally and packingly for two weeks out of the house alone.... Ayi!

A heck of a lot of reading, editing, critiquing, commenting, revising, checking, writing... Summer workshops have begun, which means editing my own chapters and reviewing other peoples's so that they will think I am nice. :P

So I am making excuses, yes. I refuse to feel guilty. I'm too...*snoooorreee*

Fun game though (okay, maybe not so fun...fun for ME!) :: When you're driving down the highway for hours straight (south till the streets stop!) and you're kinda bored and all, it takes you a little under a minute to get from mile marker to mile marker, right? So the game is this :: You have to figure out the factors of the number of the mile marker before you get to the next one. So you can picture me driving along, looking at cow, muttering under my breath, "Is 111 a prime? Hmmm... 3 into... 2 left over, that gives you... No. No, it's not. 3 and 37--Oh boy! 110!"

AMZi x x x x x

Arts of All Sorts

2010-05-21T06:44:00.000-07:00

Yesssss, I know posting has been dodgy lately... I didn't mean to, honest! I got kinda busy, and then I thought I was busy so I mentally "let myself off" and then I wasn't busy, but I didn't have the mental order to...yeah. Oh well. Besides, not much going on lately. Mostly writing. I'm almost halfway into Chapter 7, which is nice. I'm telling you, except for Chapter 5 (which was kinda my fault just not sitting down and telling myself what I wanted to do) I've had no stuck issues. The ideas just keep pouring in for how and why certain events occur! I'm so excited--I'm crushing a few hopes in this chapter. Ha. I sound devious there. Oops.

So besides the art of writing, I've been working on some other things, casually... I have a new theme on the piano, if that interests anyone...I haven't composed anything in awhile! Been mainly arranging. But I don't worry, you know? Some night I'll sit down and just KNOW, if I sit there long enough, it'll come out. Handy that way. :P

Yes, my colored pencils are 2-4 inches in length. I snatch up all the stubs around here, which is funny because I have big hands, but they work for me! I have to sharpen them manually, but I don't care.

I love lined up stuff. <3

El hermano of savvy-ness (what can he NOT do?) carved this for me! I have several others, in normal pencils, all with their own personality. This one's long beard twists around the pencil!

So a little drawing, a little writing, a little music, a LOT of reading (I mean a LOT), and photography when the mood strikes me. Oh, and to complete the various arts, here are the pictures of my other Fiber Arts projects.

Go ahead and say it! :P Actually, check this out...

And a drawstring tapestry-woven bag. Weft-facing. Eternal project. Maaaaan. It can always be squished down more than you want it to! (Probably the technical term for squishing down is beating...whatever!)

There you have it!
AMZi x x x x x

Rain...AGAIN

2010-05-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

Because of the rain, I had to take some long-distance shots of the new roses....

After all that writing yesterday, I was thoroughly excited for Ch. 7 but haven't been able to translate that excitement into actual work. Too bad! :) For me, the most challenging thing about writing during the school year is not finding time to WRITE but finding time to THINK. Because in order for a scene to be written on paper, it needs to take shape in my mind. I need to have a little 30-minute pow-wow with myself and start asking myself questions...

"Does he mutiny or blackmail him? No, he TRIES to blackmail him, and that doesn't work. So he mutinies. But is he going for total control, or only Velocitas to betray them? Total control, but that doesn't work, so he'll take the Velocitas and..."

Q and A just like that. "Why does he want this? What does he try first? How on EARTH does she end up on board? And what in the world will we do with Davies and Brigham? How can I manage to make Ewings flog someone?" If you barge in on me during one of these sessions, well, let's just say I've gotten some really weird looks in the past.

Me :: *happily explaining to some writerly friends* I've stabbed two or three people already!

The Ginger Who Happens To Be Walking Past :: *mortified stare* Oh My Quesodilla! *hurries back to Spanish class*

Stuff like that. :) Anyway. So I know it's coming, as always, it just needs a little time to congeal. Yeah. So far what I have is ::

Ch 7

Ta Da! *bows* Ah well.
AMZi x x x x x

A Tuesday's Daily Doings

2010-05-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

6:23am :: Wake up slowly.
6:24am :: Realize today is TUESDAY, not Saturday as had somehow got into my head. Bound out of bed with joy. (I work on Saturdays, hence the general dislike)
6:25am :: Jump out of my skin when the alarm goes off. Run to turn it off.
6:30am :: Open computer and prepare to write. Commence distracting self with excuses.
6:47am :: Actually buckle down to writing when faced with having to stop soon... *shakes head at self*
7:09 am :: Stop writing and make breakfasts/lunches/backpacks, etc.
8:30 am :: Have nice quiet house to self. Commence violining.
8:40 am :: Still scales....
8:50 am :: Even more scales....
9:00 am :: Forget the scales! Bourree instead!
9:12 am :: Receive announcement of plan (dun dun dun!)
9:20ish am :: Head off to Starbucks!
9:34 am :: Order a Java Chocolaty-Chip Frappuccino (steep $$$-wise, but a special treat)
Shortly Thereafter :: Commence writing. If I were a real author, like full-time, I would totally find me a nice quiet Starbucks to sit in all day. When I hit writer's block, I'll just listen to interesting conversations, order tea, etc.
11:47 am :: Head home, 3,000 words later.
11:50 am :: More violining, more writing...
Sometime Later than Normal :: Lunch!
1:00 pm :: MORE writing...
2:56 pm :: FINISH Chapter 6, PRINT Chapter 6, add some bits to other chapters I kind of forgot...
3:18 pm :: Write this. :P

So there's my day. :) And because I adore mi violin....

This is my new desktop. I think if you click it, it'll get bigger. :)

AMZi x x x x x

False Start

2010-05-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Feeling a bit south of the elements today...but I've therapied with good books all morning, so with a reheating of my cuppa, I'm off to try and be productive! Itching for the guitar, but I shall resist! I'm really brilliant with distractions, you know...like writing this post. Totally circumnavigating my goals for the afternoon. :P

And the weather seems to be feeling a bit south of the elements as well...no light to speak of, photography relatively nonexistent. Sadness, yes? So this is what my afternoon will consist of ::

Yep. Lotsa writing, if I have my way. And if I don't get too tired. And if my tea stays hot and I don't have to go reheat it. And if I ever stop writing this post and actually apply myself to Chapter 6. It's not that I'm not excited for Chapter 6--I am. Most definitely. *insert evil laugh* Just so tired.................

Anyhow. I think there should be a law (okay, a policy, a guideline, a suggestion, whatever!) that you're not allowed to argue or insult someone, EXCEPT in an English accent! For one thing, using a fake accent makes everything less personal, and for another...well, long-winded insults sound SO much better like that. Problem being, I can never think of something really good and long off the top of my head. It ends up like this ::

Me (al hermano [[to el hermano]]) :: Oh, HONESTLY, you ARE the most... errmm... pig-headed?

El hermano the Immensely Helpful :: No, no, that doesn't sound right. Stubborn--

Me :: Infuriating!

Hermano :: Good one!

Me :: Okay! HONESTLY, you ARE the most stubborn, infuriating... errrrrmmm... several other derogatory adjectives... unpleasant NOUN!

AMZi x x x x x x

PS Just remembered I never showed y'all a couple of my Fiber Arts projects... if we get some good light later, I'll do a post on those. :)

The Most Un-Blog-Ish Subject

2010-05-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

Music. :P Really a silly subject for a WRITTEN and VISUAL art form thingamajig. Ah well. You're in for it anyway.

Check it out. He plays it really abysmally so I'm sorry, but use your imagination. This. Is. My. Favorite. Song. Evah. I heard it performed yesterday (MUCH BETTER THAN THIS yeesh) and it kills me every time. :D

And also this one ::

I remember the first time I heard this... *big grin* Fantastic, yes?

So I took some pictures :: I love shots of people's hands on pianos.

This is my favorite--like the real world is INSIDE the piano, and outside it's just black and white like the keys....

And check this out!! El hermano of crazy savvy-ness has lately been making these funky things. They're flat, 2-D pieces of paper, and he draws on them in a certain way, and when a picture it taken from an angle, it--well, it looks like this!

There's a shot we have of me holding it (it IS MY book, of course--The Forewarned) and it looks so blooming real! Keep an eye out for that soon. :)

Must run... as usual. :) Hope all y'all had such a lovely weekend as I did!
AMZi x x x x x

A Quick Note...

2010-05-14T14:49:00.000-07:00

To say I've finished Ch 5. This morning I turned off my alarm and let myself sleep in till 7 (reason why later). When I did wake up, I rolled out of bed and got straight to work. The house was quiet, very peaceful. Since there's nothing else to do, I like to write while I wait for everyone to get up. Before 9, I'd written a couple thousand words. Then...

DUN DUN DUN!

I went to get my hair cut again. After I got a lot of it cut off awhile ago, every school day someone or other has insisted that I must have cut my hair again!

Person :: Did you cut your hair?

Me :: Uh... no...

Person :: Are you sure you didn't get a haircut and then forget? It looks shorter.

Me :: Nooo, I'm pretty sure. If anything it's longer now.

Person :: No, no, it was longer last week!

Me :: Yeah... I bet someone is sneaking into my room at night and cutting my hair every day... that's the only explanation.

Seriously, random people asked me twice a month for weeks! It was bizarre. So now, when I see my friends tonight, I'll tell them I got my hair cut just so when they asked if I'd cut my hair, I could say YES for once!!

So now I have bangs for the first time since I was about five-years-old...only I like them now. :P A lot! :)

And the reason for me sleeping in a whole 'nother half hour this morning.... Last night we went to an amazing dinner with my "big brother" and his new wife (okay, not SO new, they got married in March). I missed my brother--not having anyone to pick on me! We also finally got to really MEET a Russian family we helped out when they first came to the US. Their kids are ADORABLE! Last night was the most fun I've had all year, no joke! I could have stayed there forever! And the best part was all of the language stuff, el padre attempting Russian, everyone cracking up at his efforts, translations going on back and forth and back and forth and questions and jokes and it was blooming AMAZING! :)

Fun fact of the day :: American say "Buh-bye" meaning "Goodbye" all the time, right? Well, in Russian, a "buh-bye" is like a monster that scares children. So when it came time to go, we started making grabby hands at the adorable little kiddos and saying "Buh-byyeee!!" in scary voices. All in good fun of course. They have such infectious laughter!!

Buuuuuhhh-Byyyyyyyeee! *insert evil laugh*
AMZi x x x x x

My Creative Space

2010-05-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

Playing along this week at kootoyoo... :)

My Creative Space is Rained On...

And Screened In as you can see.

And while listening along to The Reptile Room (see yesterday's post), I've been populating my Creative Space...

...with farmyard animals. There's the pony with tiny legs (Simon?) and the grey hen (Persephone?) and the nanny goat (Nanny?) and the billy goat (Billy?). And yes, I am fully aware that none of them have eyes/noses (in the horse's case) yet. I'm still deciding how exactly I want to do that... felt as the pattern calls for? Or buttons? Very small buttons of course.

Missing granny squares, oddly. I should have known I can't survive apart from them!

Chapter 5 is coming along grandly-ish. I had some trouble (first trouble with this book so far) figuring out JUST how exactly I wanted to accomplish something, but I believe we have landed on a solution!

I stooped and picked it up, testing the heavy weight in my palm. “Look me in the eyes, Brigham,” I said. He blinked rapidly, but tore his gaze from the gun. “I’m not going to shoot you, or even threaten to shoot you. That’s not how I work.” I glanced at Benjamin. “Anymore.”

AMZi x x x x x

What I'm Reading

2010-05-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

In no less than THREE tenses!

Have Just Finished Reading ::

The first Ian Rutledge book, which I should have started with but didn't and is actually quite good though not as brilliant as The Red Door.

A Ted Dekker thriller which, while relatively original, features a main character who is practically identical to the heroes of his other thrillers. Some nice twists all the same, and a lot of interesting stuff about mental illness, which is fascinating.

What I Am Reading This Very Minute (Which Is A Lie Because I Am Actually Typing) ::

An old fad series that I never really got around to reading. It's so pathetically funny and British sounding, it's worth it.

A book that I accidentally picked up and ended up being fascinated immensely. Very very interesting. Maybe not the most immediately applicable reading, as I am neither adrift nor a boy, but you never know...if I have children someday, it may come in handy. And then I will laugh in all your faces and point and say, "Ha, I'm ahead!!"

A book by George MacDonald who is inexcusably ignored these days. Packaged like a cheap romance, I know, but I have it from a reliable source that it's not bad at all.

What I'm Planning On Reading Next ::

Because of course I have to see what happens next....

Because so far as I can tell it's the next Rutledge book and ditto the above reasoning. :)

As for me, a little writing, a little knitting (still working on that nanny goat but very close to completion), lots of reading, lots of thinking, and obviously a little blogging. I could get used to this holiday business.

AMZi x x x x x

Three Reasons

2010-05-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

...Why Mondays aren't so bad. In spite of achy back and head from lack of sleep, and evil seasonal allergies assaulting my sinuses without mercy. :)

Reason the First ::

Everything is so green outside!

Reason the Second ::

A light rain. I opened the window a crack to let in the sound of it. Quite nice actually.

Reason the Third ::

Knitting a nanny-goat. Hahahaha! Also a lot of reading going on, and a lot of writing. I'll finish chapter 4 today if I have my way. :)

Of course, thinking about it, I find a lot of other reasons. Tea, long interesting emails, dressmakers' blogs to read through, etc. A snatch of alone time later on, I trust. :) That sounds so nice to me.

AMZi x x x x x

Farmyard Animals

2010-05-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

Got a good many things on my mind at the moment, and not many of them warrant talking about.... Ah well. Let's have some knitting updates!

Can a chicken be sat upon a horse?

Yes it can. No eyes on the chicken yet, and no eyes/nose on the horse yet, I'm not keen on felt and hole punches and glue. I'll get there. :) Finally went and bought some more yarn, which takes me forever to justify doing. Honest. I had to work myself up for four days to buy the $4.60 pattern! I can't seem to justify spending money on anything except music. A ten or a twenty I can blow in a minute for music, but everything else is guilty afterward. :) Ah well. Probably a good thing, yes? Bit of a saver, I am.

Go look at the Summit website if you've never heard of these chaps. I'm going to one of their two week conferences. Looks to be very exciting and a good time for people who rather enjoy thinking.

And as for writing, I'm halfway through Ch 4 and it's really ripping. So enjoyable, being a full-time all-day sit-down writer again! Just to be working solidly like that. I've figured out the problem I had getting back into it. I have to think, thinking is my whole life, just thinking about any old thing. During the school year, there's no time (sometimes literally) for thinking, and that gets me in a not-so-nice mood. In order to write, I need to think, sometimes for hours solid, preparing and letting inspi come. Enter the summer hols, and voila! Time, ergo thinking, ergo writing.

Remarkable, really.

AMZi x x x x x

My Late Creative Space

2010-05-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

Would have had this up last night, as I was technically doing it yesterday, but yesterday was MAD! Took a trip to the Nelson Atkins Art Museum, of which... I sound like a Philistine here... my favorite parts were the Corinthian columns in the foyer and the rich Dutch made furniture in the American section.... Haha. I'm sure the paintings were nice too. What disturbed me was the fact that the canvases were laid bare to the air and anyone who wanted to stick a pencil through them. And not nearly enough security standing around looking intimidating. IMHO.

Check out this lovely iris... not dark purple like the others... cross pollination perhaps?

And we're petsitting again, a very charming little Yorkie with the best manners I've ever seen. Love this picture of her. Nothing like a picture with a well-defined window screen in the background...makes it feel like summer!

And we arrive at my Creative Space. This week it involves some help from Alan Dart, namely, using his Farmyard Animals pattern. Stop laughing, you! I've always been fascinated by little animal figurines, cows and horses and sheep and goats and geese. Of course I like the real thing, but those are rather hard to keep round the house, don't you know? So I saw this pattern and about died of the cuteness. Hahahaha.

Progress as of last night....wish me luck!

Progress as of this morning. All the while, I'm listening to A Test of Wills, by Charles Todd, the first Ian Rutledge mystery. Loving it!!

AMZi x x x x x

A Visit to the Shipyard....

2010-05-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

To see the progress on me lovely boat!

The Captain's bunk, with chart storage underneath in the pigeonholes.

View into forward cabin under foredeck.

A view of the gun deck, with gun ports that will eventually be square....

Quartermaster's bunk, on one side in the slightly more forward aft cabin. ;)

First Lieutenant's berth on the other side of the slightly more forward aft cabin.

A view of the stern and quarterdeck. There will be two more stern lanterns on either side.

The view from the captain's cabin forward.

Status as of now.... Sweet!!!!

AMZi x x x x x

I've No Complaints

2010-05-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

There! Finals behind us, a long summer ahead. Deep breath, in...and...out! Okay, let's go!

I know I've pretty much abandoned you, little blog, for the past couple days. All the writing, and classes, and work, and yada yada yada. I'm making up for it today, I promise! As soon as I arrived home from violin, I grabbed my camera and set out to eke a few more pictures out of the dead batteries. Okay, a lot more pictures. Check these out!

Coming downstairs this morning, I was greeted by a large vase of irises. Apparently they had all bloomed without informing me! The nerve of it! Anyhow, I managed to capture a few still attached to their stalks. :)

Don't you just love pictures of tiny details you'd never notice otherwise? So exciting!

And while I was taking these, there was this tiny sweat bee buzzing around them. He'd just flown off before this picture.

I used to know what these were called... they're big tropical-looking bushes with waxy leaves and these popcorn balls of pink. Quite lovely, actually.

Popcorn ball again. Top view. The lighting out here is magnificent today!!

Can't remember what these are called either. Low-growing shrub, leggy. Lots of little reddish-orange flowers. Tropical looking again. Love the contrast in this pic.

Love the leafy green trees! Sitting outside, it sounds just like the ocean, the way the wind rolls through them. The whole tropical-sea theme is very fitting for my mood for writing. :)

Yes, quite content, I'd say. You really can't beat this. Aaaahhhh.

“I’m Nora,” I said, arranging the blankets. “Don’t move. You’ve got a lot of stitches in your back.”
“I feel like a pincushion,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and quiet. “Only for knives.”
I smiled. “At least they haven’t amputated your sense of humor.”

AMZi x x x x x

Full Faculty Recovery? Unlikely!

2010-05-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

Just popping in today for a quick review! Sherlock Holmes.... supposedly. :)

I heard some mixed reviews about this movie... Holmes purists having a cow... Friends watching the trailer (into which they managed to work all the dodgy moments *cough*)... Other friends watching and liking... I watched the trailer myself, and thought it looked rather exciting. Not to mention full of rapid repartee, which sells me every time. ;)

I don't want to give away any of the plot, because that was BRILLIANT and incredibly well-written. So just some highlights...

Yes, Holmes is very much different. IMHO, much better (as in, not so blooming full of himself, and not a cocaine addicts, etc.) Downey Jr plays him brilliantly, and I have a habit of over-analyzing acting performances. He really WAS the character. Holmes is everything Holmes should have been, but wasn't in the books.

No, there aren't many awkward (dodgy) moments. A total of two, in fact. What's more prolific is fast-action violence. Yet an absurd lack of blood. Besides CGI slow-mo shots of faces contorting in the path of fists, no real shots of the aftermath. Everyone recovers remarkably from being thrown across rooms... *cough* Haha.

Yes, there is some black magic. Most of it is explained as fake later on, but there are some bits left hanging. Not acknowledged, and not written off. Someone is sentenced to death for practice of black magic, however. It's not excused, at any rate. Holmes appears to dabble in some himself, but I believe what the makers were trying to communicate was him reenacting a scene and trying to get inside his opponents' heads.

Like all movies, you want to watch out for the little things that get under your guard. Irene is said to be "between husbands" and she excuses herself. Holmes irreverently says, "And on the third day..." as he meets someone outside the site of a supposed resurrection.

The really amazing part of this movie is the incredible dialogue between Holmes and Watson. It's unbelievably British, amazingly hilarious (if you've got the ear), and ridiculously well-delivered. Extremely quotable. Makes for really really really great entertainment.

I blooming loved this movie. I'm not condoning all of its risqué elements, but film-wise, in today's day and age, it was remarkable. Watch it!

AMZi x x x x x

Waltzing Is Easy!

2010-05-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

You just have to find the rhythm, see?

(because I'll take any opportunity to throw in some Renoir... :P)

Same whole deal with writing. You just have to find the "rhythm." For me, each story has had its own. I've always been able to imitate many different authors' rhythms--styles. Finding my own...not so easy, eh? I'm like one of those actors, who never seem to get OUT of character. You wonder if they actually are a person at all outside of their different voices, accents, impressions, etc.

I think I found my personal voice in Allemande, but I'm certainly not limiting myself to it. I've got a slightly different voice in Forewarned. Something a bit more period-appropriate. Something more values-appropriate. Of course, in a book like Allemande where themes of music, beauty, modernity, pain, thoughtfulness, und so weiter, you need to take some time saying things. Everything you write had to be poetic. Here, it's come out sounding a little more 1700s-ish, and a little less raw. Less electric. It's not wrong, and it's not bad, it's just different tastes. Like we have different rhythms in music we like, styles, same in writing/reading.

You're going to hear a lot about writing and books for awhile here, I'm thinking. Honestly, just the feel of being "back in the swing of things" (hee hee) consumes my every waking thought. Of which there are several, as ideas are keeping me up at night, too! :)

And so, I'm off to finish Chapter 2, leaving you with another quote.

'“I knew that stab would take awhile to kill ‘im, poor soul, but didn’t expect him to last this long.” He pressed two calloused fingers to the boy’s white throat. I watched his cracked lips mouth numbers as he counted the beats. Sitting back, he gestured to the shawl’s fringe. “Clever way of moving ‘im, that."

“Thanks,” I said, dropping to my knees beside him. “Can we save him?” I began rolling up my sleeves, but faltered as I noticed his stare. “That is the point, right?”

“It’s one thing to ease a man’s going,” he began, letting out his words slow and careful. “It’s another to save him. What could we do with him if he lived? The commander, not to mention Campbell, couldn’t know.”

“But—” I felt my heart sink as I gazed at the boy. Blue veins stood out under the skin on his clenched knuckles. He was trying to hold to life by holding to his strength. “He deserves to live. You may be bound to my…my father,” the word tasted poisonous, “but I’m certainly not! I’ll save him, with or without your consent. I’m asking for your help—or at the least, whatever medicines and supplies we have on board.”

The sailor worked his mouth back and forth, weighing the cost and chance. I still felt my spirits leap with each lungful of air the young soldier pulled in. So strange the tiny miracles you never notice until they’re all you have left.

“Got a handkerchief?” Morris asked suddenly.'

AMZi x x x x x

PS :: Been listening to this on an eternal loop, nonstop, for like the last two hours. Something about it just kills me, it's so gorgeous!

Writing, But Not Here

2010-04-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

A jar of tea and an entire book to write. I've got no words for this blog, because they're all busy elsewhere. I wrote the entire first chapter yesterday, and I'm halfway through with the second today. I doubt if I'll actually get to write this whole book in two weeks, but I might! :) Still have some finals and other things to finish up on the side....

So exciting to be writing again. Sun, you have permission to shine again. Everything's back to normal!

Funny story :: I had a terrible dream two nights ago.... I dreamed la madre was forbidding me to write! I got SO mad, SO rebellious, had an absolute fit. Woke up, and I was STILL mad! Just furious! Although it shouldn't have bothered me, because I haven't been writing, like at all... but it did. And then, lo and behold, I have this story.

Moral of the story :: Mothers are inspirational.

Another moral of the story :: If you can't bear something being forbidden, it's still part of you.

And I don't think I'll ever get around to writing the queued stories...their heyday passes, and I just don't have enough inspi to go back and get re-excited about them. Sad, but true. Same thing as how I can't write something twice if the computer kills it, etc.

So I'm off again. Must. Write. Must. Write. MUST! WRITE!!

'I slumped onto the floorboards, cushioned by a plush rug. The smooth fibers felt cold against my groping fingers. I’d read enough grisly accounts of battles to turn anyone green, but no words could somehow house this terror. I could still see the midshipman’s wide blue eyes, pale as ice, in my mind.
                “Oh, get that out of here, dash it!” my father’s voice said. It sounded strained. I slid forward on hands and knees, pressing my ear against the door just in time to hear a solid thump as a sea boot met something soft and heavy. The two heavy doors in the next room slammed together. I thrust myself away from the door, nausea overwhelming me.
                “You didn’t have to kick him,” Papa’s voice spat.
                “What’s wrong, Saunders?” asked another. He sounded lazy, or unconcerned, his accent less clipped. “When dead chaps die, they’re no longer chaps, but friends, eh?”
                “Shut up, Campbell.”'

AMZi x x x x x

A Hull...

2010-04-29T09:27:00.000-07:00

It's amamzing how quickly it's taking shape! She's called the Forewarned and she'll carry 12 guns when she's finished. A crew of 100, including Captain, cook, mate, and quartermaster. Two masts, square-sailed, plus a trysail and a total of four jibs. Weather deck, gun deck, foredeck, quarterdeck, and hold. Medium draft, sharply raked bow. Fantastic maneuverability.

She's still being developed as far as the details go. The masts will be the next to go in. Then capstan, pump, bell, forepeak and bowsprit, stern details, lanterns, helm. You can't see them, but we do have bunks in the captain's cabin and the mates' cabin just forward of it. Also a couple of seachests already. I'm being told I need a swivel-gun, but I refuse.

This is the status as of now. We have a ladder down into the gun deck and hold, ladders to the quarterdeck, railings (modifications coming) and steps down to the for'd cabin. No rudder yet, that's in the works. Just look at her lines! She's gorgeous. I'm thrilled, I tell you!!

And also for another reason. At long last, I have a real story. One I'm writing to save my life. One I HAVE to write. I KNEW I had to return to the sea! I KNEW I wouldn't be able to write fantasy ever again! I JUST KNEW IT! I knew I had to wait and something would come. And it did, hit me square between the eyes in the shower this morning. What is it with showers and inspiration? Came practically in a tidy package with a gift-bow on top. No homeworking for me, this time, I'm plunging straight in! I'm 1,683 words into Chapter 1 now, and I'm only pausing long enough to write this before I go back into the fray.

'“Dear Edward,” I heard my mother dictate. “When you receive this, I will be dead, and you have killed me.”

My heartbeat faltered and I felt coldness enter my chest. Staggering backwards, I knocked a candle from a table to the floor. The wax stick struck the ground with a wet thwack and before the doctor could open the door, I disappeared.'

Ahhh, it's good to be on the sea again.
AMZi x x x x x

Warning: Bug Below

2010-04-28T15:03:00.000-07:00

Doing some yardwork last night, we turned over this dashing little gentleman!

Is he not GORGEOUS? I went into conniptions, got me a jar, and the LGM, and tried to snap some photos. I know I should know what kind of beetle he is, as I remember learning it, but I can't remember! Arrgh!

He's so gorgeous. Look at all that blue!

Didn't think the "bugs" label would get any more use, actually! I'm really not a huge fan of bugs. I abhor moths and spiders and silverfish. But beetles I adore. And just about any bug, when it's on the other side of a screen or window. :)

Got company now, so I can't stay long, and besides I'm itching to take my maths final. Positively itching. So excited! :)

AMZi x x x x x

Distractions!

2010-04-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I am so ready to be done! Done with everything! I'd like to vanish for a good six weeks' time, off to a little hermitage somewhere. That does sound nice. And yet, oddly, I'll probably take everything I'm avoiding with me anyway! I can't go without a piano or guitar... I must have a dozen books at least... I ought to take something edifying to study... and some Spanish literature... and of course my knitting! Well, I might as well do all of that right here, yes?

Mainly I want to escape finals. Everything has been easing off lately and nurturing my Spring Fever, and now everything is culminating this week! Socorro!! But actually, I'm on top of it. I hope. Ha.

Anyhow, I sit down to study or write a composicion or review my trig identities, and something always thwarts me! A new blog that needs reading, or I do something incredibly stupid like pick up the guitar.

In the blog case, the culprit is this blog, and in the guitar case, you have a guitar. Hahaha, get it? Case? Sorry. In the guitar situation, you have a song called Craigie Hill. 'Nuff said. :)

Having a bit of a cold snap lately. Weather is so strange. A lot of nice quiet rain, too. Which I enjoy. It was so chilly last night, the garden blanket had to migrate up from the foot of the bed!

And I'm looking forward to when this project is done so I can use it. Although it WOULD be the sort of project in which the further along you go, the longer it takes to go further!

And I've been doing a lot of prop designing and sketching and mapping and watching my lovely brig take shape on la pantalla de la computadora del hermano.

Also, finding myself wishing I were really bi-lingual. Aurora from the blog above speaks Swedish and PERFECT English. I speak English and sufferable Spanish. And small amounts of German, though I understand much more than I speak. I speak Latin, but that doesn't do me much good, yes? :) I long to learn a Norther European tongue backwards and forwards. That would be lovely.

So I'm promptly going to get distracted from writing this post...oh, *sniff* I smell food cooking! Ta!

AMZi x x x x x

A Boat...

2010-04-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

In that dreadful in-between time, when you've realized you NEED a cup of tea, and you've put the kettle on, but now you've got to wait for it to BOIL (ugh! I'm an American and I want instantaneous gratification! *pouts* Haha) I sat down at the piano to play a Tarantella. By Edward McDowell. Save. Us. All. It's FRIGHTFUL! It is SO annoying when I can see these "great" composers utilizing cheap amateur tricks that I myself recall using! Only, at age 8, not as a world-renowned composer. Hmph. So then I had to go play a DIFFERENT Tarantella by Mendelssohn which entirely made up for it. Ha.

But now I've got my tea, and maybe the headache will dissipate. Have had a headache all day-ish, but I will say it was not particularly alleviated by the following activity....

I've commissioned el hermano, the one and only, the same one who modeled my sword, to model my ship. This ship has been sailing the seas of my imagination for about...3 or 4 years. It's my personal ship from my pirating days (which, if you ask me in public, I will loudly denounce and deny) and I lent it to my villain, Sacar, for my book Averill. If you've read Averill you may have noticed that I made it through the entire novel without actually saying the name of Sacar's ship. That's because my ship has no name. She never has.

(Oooh! Note the sharply raked bow and all them jibs! She could practically be classified as a clipper, for her shape and length, and all the cloth she carries.... Except for the shallow draft...but that's good for maneuverability. A tertiary clipper, then!)

I gather it sounds strange to say "my pirating days" and "my ship" as if it were all real.... It's really just occurred to me. How odd. I guess I've always talked like that... my imaginary friends, imaginary possessions, and imaginary exploits have always been chatted openly about with el hermano and mis amigos. "But I have a boat," I'll say, perfectly straight-faced. Hmmm. I AM odd! :)

Anyhow, you've no IDEAR how blooming hard it is to actually map out everything you already know about your ship. Himmel it took me upwards of an hour! But it's worth it, to finally have her all out on paper after all this time. I do love the sea. I would ask for suggestions for a once-and-for-all name for her, but in the past I've never really heeded suggestions. No one will know her the way I do, so it's probably a waste of time to offer a name, unless you have a really amamzing sudden inspiration. :) But go ahead anyway.

On a completely unrelated note, have you ever been called a "wiseacre"? Get this :: It has absolutely nothing to do with wisdom OR land measurements! It actually comes from a Middle Dutch word, wijssegger, which means "one who feigns knowledge or cleverness" or "an insolent upstart." Is. That. Not. AMAMZING? I love it. I almost want to BE a wijssegger just to BE one!....Okay, not really. :)

Ik ben wijssegger!
AMZi

A New Project

2010-04-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's all very hush-hush, you know. Mum's the word. Mainly to save face if I don't end up finishing, because I'm really not a big project person. Crochet a teacup the size of a bean, yes, but actually commit to something for days (or weeks) on end? Save us! Yes, yes, I do the granny square blanket thing, but that's a bit of a bridge, don't you think? I make multiple small things (and get a little oomph out of each completion) and then put them all together into one big thing. Quite a nice arrangement, yes?

Anyhow, the Mysterious Project is going nicely though, for having just started it. I'm using honking big needles (11s, remember I'm a small project person?) and baby-weight yarn. Very light and airy. Muches of fun.

Was outside earlier and spotted a butterfly, but in typical Amzi fashion, did not have the LGM on me. Sigh. I wasn't planning on taking pictures, though, just having a little sunshine to myself. Which was pleasant. Minus the bees everywhere. Not too keen on them, am I?

Been listening to a lot of lectures by a chap named John Stonestreet, with Summit Ministries. Exceeding interesting stuff, that. Highly enjoyable to listen to. It's not every day I can sit listening to somebody speak, and actually agree the whole time! :) It's a luxury, really.

Still monstrous tired. There is to be cleaning and muches of work this weekend, so I apologize in advance if my posts get a bit scarce. Sigh. Summer will be here soon, and THEN things will happen! :)

AMZi x x x x x

Smell of Rain

2010-04-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

I do like a good rain once in awhile. All in a row, it can get bothersome, but I don't mind a spring shower. I like going round the house in the dim light, and being surprised by a thunderclap, and everything outside being quiet and nap-worthy. Too bad I'm not a napper!

I know my posts have been short and skipping lately, and instead of apologizing I'm going to make excuses in typical Amzi fashion. There has been a lot going on, muches of things to stay on top of and think about and decide and then conclude (what, actually DO them??). Have finally gotten a chance to catch up on my sleep deficit (which I can tell you certainly kills me dead) and on my dream deficit. Seems lately the few hours I could fall asleep without a knot in my stomach were very much concentrating on JUST sleep. Dreamed again for the first time in a long time last night. It was worth it. :) (Don't you DARE, Liese)

I've told you I'm not a pine-er. If I'm denied something I make do without. There's no point in wondering about what might have been. What I'm not so great with is waiting...not KNOWING whether I'll have to do without or whether I can go ahead and Anticipate my heart out! That's what's been tying me in knots inside lately. Luckily this morning I've got some things ironed out and they'll stop bothering me. I do like a bit of security and closure. Ahhhh.

And as I'm on recovery mode, I won't be talking much. I've got imagining to do, not so much expostulation and expositions. Suddenly a good many things don't seem so blooming important to worry about. I'm going to listen to the rain and think about something worth thinking about. Beat that!

AMZi x x x x x

PS watched the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice... Movie-wise and actor-wise, I like it better than the 1995, but story-wise of course it can't compete. All in all a rather enjoyable movie, but in an entirely different way from the book. Hmmm.

JUST Hear Me Out!

2010-04-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

I'm serious! When I start talking about why I like math, people smile warmly...and then run away. I'm not SCARY, right? Well, not TOO scary. And math... is awesome, right?

It's not even like I adore math for a mathy reason. *pushes nerdy glasses up on nose and quotes* "Erm, there's only one right answer. I like that." Or "Numbers are shineeeee." No, I like math because you can do awesome things with it! It's like I've been waiting my whole life just to get the cool stuff! It's so exciting!!

You should have heard me when I first started USING logarithms. As in they actually end up being useful in the end, instead of just instruments of torture to math-haters. I yelled, "Logarithms can go BACKWARDS???" Excitement.

Or the fact that you can find the area of the inside of a curve? Um, am I the only one who sees this amazing-ness in this?

How about trig identities? They're like logical syllogisms, but with math! They're like the brainteaser thinking-skill activities we've been doing since Grade 2! How is this not awesome??

Really, though. I honestly think most of the "I hate math," and "Math hates me," and "I'm deathly allergic to matrices! Gaaah!" is purely psychological.

La hermana couldn't take vitamins when she should have because she convinced herself that she couldn't swallow them, and that they would taste bad. Cause No End of Trouble, let me tell you!

I was THE pickiest eater for the longest time, until I started training my brain. I'd smell something cooking, and tell myself, "Heeeeeeyy, this doesn't smell so bad!" And then later, "This is going to taste great!" Bang, all of a sudden, I like all these foods I never would have touched. Makes life so much easier, yes?

So why won't the same thing work on math? Focus on the exciting parts. It's really not boring, tedious sometimes, but not boring. And so much of it is really really interesting! It's lovely to see things falling into place, to check your answer and go, "Hey! It really works!"

And a long sheet of composite functions can work wonders on a headache or a bad mood. :) Trust me, I've tried it on multiple occasions. :)

AMZi x x x x x

PS: yes, I was incredibly nerdy and embroidered a graph on a sheet of notebook paper. Fear me.
PSS: A couple people have asked me where I got the idea for the signal flags on my handkerchief project. I love all things to do with the sea, and had known about nautical signal flags for awhile, and like them a lot. Then I just got the idea to embroider them! :)

I Wasn't, But I Am

2010-04-19T15:24:00.000-07:00

Posting, that is. I am far too busy to spend time creating a post on here, however short it may turn out. So talk me out of it immediately.

Nahh. I just saw some pictures in a Harry & David catalogue (whoever they are!) we got in the mail, and they are so refreshing!!

Ahhhh...

A hamper with daffs!

*wishful whimper*

AND had to showcase my completed embroidery project. Signal flags, precious, on a handkerchief! I am muchly enjoying the colors all together like that. :)

And I AM madly busy, and I'm NOT going to hang around and say more, and I AM going to go drink hot tea without delay. Good day.
AMZi x x x x x

Triangles

2010-04-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Triangle action has been taking place the past week, mainly while I've been finding out just who exactly killed Florence Teller (from this book). Today I piled up my scrap-yarn triangles to take some pictures before blocking them. This time, I blocked by wetting them thoroughly, squeezing out the excess water, arranging them on a doubled carwash towel, and pressing them on low heat for a few seconds. Made them lie flat nicely. I still haven't woven in the ends yet, as you can see...

Because I'm not quite sure how I'm going to put them together. But I still wanted to see what a bunting might look like, so I experimented like this ::

Which I like very much. The pattern for these little isosceles is as follows ::

Cast-on 10 stitches
Row 1 :: Knit across
Row 2 :: Purl across
Row 3 :: K2tog, K across until 2 st remain unworked, K2tog
Row 4 :: P across
Row 5 :: K across
Row 6 :: P across
Row 7 :: K2tog, K until 2 st remain unworked, K2tog
Row 8 :: P across
Row 9 :: K across
Row 10 :: P across
Row 11 :: K2tog, K until 2 st remain unworked, K2tog
Row 12 :: P across
Row 13 :: K2tog twice
Cut yarn, thread end through two remaining loops on needle, and pull tightly to finish off.

Quite simple, and the ratio works. Have fun! :)

An update on the little branch status ::

AMZi x x x x x

Soca River

2010-04-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Not very good pictures, sorry, I don't know where I got them. Thank you, Google. :) Soca [SOH-cha] River, Bovec [Bawv-etch], Slovenia (c) God's Handiwork Inc. Thank you, Lord. :)

I'm ready to immerse myself in another world now. If I'm not back in three hours, commend my soul to the story.

Writing at long last,

AMZi x x x x x

Thursday

2010-04-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

Thursday is for working, staying at home, sitting outside, reading and listening and studying.

What I'm Reading::

Well, actually, listening to. Narrated by the incredible Prebble. I can't believe I've survived this long without discovering Charles Todd and Inspector Ian Rutledge! I've read many of the really good classic mystery series, my favorite being Lord Peter Wimsey, but Rutledge is quickly rising through the ranks as a fresh new sense. So many of the Scotland Yard detective books from that time period sound exactly alike, but this is good and traditional without being cliched. I'm enjoying it immensely, although I think I'm missing something by not starting with the first Rutledge book, whatever it is. Must look into that.

Keep a weather eye out on the tabs above under the heading! Soon to join the ranks will be a tutorial on recycling some of those plastic grocery sacks you get every time you go to get bread and bell peppers. ;)

AMZi x x x x x

My Creative Space

2010-04-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

My Creative Space this week contains evening sunlight and lots of quiet thinking going on. It also involves yet another one of those crafty-world "fads" that I swore I'd never fall for... bunting. Well, sort of. Not yet, anyway. My subconscious must be on a garlandy-type-thingie rail.

Also a great chance to showcase some smaisin knitting needles made for Yours Truly by Yours Truly's hermano. They just so happen to be a size 11, and feature this number proudly on their little rubber caps, which were nabbed off of something important while it wasn't looking. :)

I'm usually such a multi-tasker, go-go-go, buckle down and get-'er-done person, and lately I'm in such a rut! I'd rather just sit and think, and think, and think! I suppose there could be worse obsessions, yes? Ah well. I'm positively exhausted now, and even a weak brew isn't brightening me up, so this'll be a short post.

And you thought I would refrain from a mathish comment today! Don't you know Wednesdays better than that? I learned some Calculus today! Integration, plus finding the area of a triangle the calculus way before extrapolating it to find area of wackier shapes... where'd you go? Ah well. :P

AMZi x x x x x

Methinks I See a Trend

2010-04-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

On my mind this past few weeks? Life and the future. The intricacies and amazing complexities of growing up, growing older, growing, period. The worries, questions, promises, chances, paths, choices, dangers, surprises of moving forward. I'm not a forward-moving person naturally, and generally the Future has to come in and drag me out by my hair rather than the other way round....

But the way everything approaches and then blossoms and then moves on by.... First you meet one concept, one new situation, and it hits you in the face. The moment you pull through it, thinking "Okay, I can do this," suddenly it is so much bigger and harder than you thought. Sometimes I know, I can take this. One step at a time. Keep going. Other times, I find myself saying, "It's not FAIR...it's too HARD, what's the POINT?"

Keep your eyes open. Look around you and realize everything you're living for. What are you looking forward? You're not alone, and obviously many people before you survived this point, and many people will go after you. Leave them a legacy, try to help them through it. Why else do we experience trials or processes? Why else do we experience at all?? To grow, yes, to mature, to achieve great things, and so that we can relate to those who come behind and try to help them. I will always be grateful to and for my older friends who look out for me, who teach me to learn from their mistakes, who encourage me. Sometimes it's so comforting just to know someone else understands, yes?

Oh, how do you write this down? I tell you, every day, every minute, my heart is singing. I'm ready to take it all on. I don't know the gameplan :: I don't know what's coming :: I don't know how I'll feel when I get there :: the Point Is To Go. I'm ready to Believe.

And in the middle of all of these Grown-Up thoughts, let's take a moment to notice the tiny details that are still so thrilling. The white "red"-bud tree is finally in full bloom! Time for the update on the status of that little branch!

AMZi x x x x x

Some Outdoor Pictures

2010-04-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

Lately things have been pretty interesting... Lots to think about, lots to do and look up and research and write in multiple languages. Lots of outdoor Garage-Pong playing to do (brill game invented by el padre) and lots of backyard swing sitting to do. Lots of pictures to be taking, but no batteries to be putting into the camera! Here are a few I managed to squeak out of these old batteries today. I drove home, dropped all my stuff, grabbed the LGM, and went outdoors to snap a bit in the lovely lighting.

My head is always spinning a little after a long day out of the house. My hermitage and equilibrium are equally disturbed. It's fun while it lasts...but I always return a little loopy. :) Today is just the day to go outdoors and listen to some good country music, soak up the green of the grass, and refuse to worry about a single thing.

AMZi x x x x x

Press Any Key to Continue

2010-04-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

I think like a computer. Pretty much on a regular basis. Not saying I don't FEEL, but saying that feelings do come second. Emotions have to be "licensed" or permitted to wreak havoc on my system.... Hormones generally ignore my best efforts, but hey, sometimes a computer meets a virus it can't handle.

There are good things and there are bad things that come from a nature like this. And then, in typical computer fashion, there are just plain facts.

Pros ::

Less emotional trauma.
No pining after things/people.
A convenient ability to just accept things and move on.
A very steady stance and logical outlook.

Cons ::

Your more emotional friends get mad at you for not understanding.
A tendency to be tactless or not compassionate.
Computers can't handle some things (see above image) which inconveniently seem to permeate life. Ahem.
An inability to shut up when needed.... :P

Facts ::

Being this way makes life EASIER but probably less ENJOYABLE.
Thinking like a computer seems to have less effect on feelings of anger.
Thinking like a computer means doing a lot of thinking, period. If you rely on thinking to make decisions, rather than what you emotionally WANT, etc. you have to go through the trouble of actually analyzing everything and deciding what's best.

I'm not sure what causes this kind of outlook, but I'm thinking it's partly personality and partly circumstance. Someone who would NOT be so inclined may be forced to build a shell of anti-emotional armor just to survive. That's not healthy, and not good.

But Amzi, you say, haven't I heard you on many occasions in This Very Blog announce that something has made you Happy???

Yes, you have. I find it extremely easy to be happy, or sad, or angry, or whatever, in myself. Kind of on a solitary basis. It's where relationships with other people come in that my hardware locks down and requires a password.

What's the solution? There is hope for people like me, I think. My impression is life will grow you up, will stretch out your kinks, until you're who you were called to be. I'm not half as reclusive or "weird" as I used to be, and being friends with more emotionally-oriented people has helped me to understand them better. Situations will be forced on you which require growth, stepping outside your comfort zone, finding ways to cope with the Big World you live in. And in my opinion, that whole process, the whole deal of being alive and being a person and being unique and called and purposed, is so exciting and beautiful! One thing I would like to make clear is that I would not trade my experiences in the past, or my state in the present, or my promises in the future for anything you could offer me.

Powering down,
AMZi x x x x x

(image (c) xkcd

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/useless.jpg

Echos Art Jewelry

2010-04-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

Warning :: Shameless plugs ahead. Don't worry, these lovely people deserve them! :)

So, anyhow, yesterday afternoon a smallish package arrived for me in the mail! *cheers* It was taped up like the crown jewels, and its contents could probably challenge those crown jewels in stunning-ness. [begin Shameless Plug 01] It's a Labrodorite Wire-Wrapped Pendant from Echos Art and it's awesome! [end Shameless Plug 01] Shipping was timely, service was very pleasant, nothing but stars for Lisa! [begin Shameless Plug 02] Now, where I got it was I won it on this chulo blog which was very exciting! [end Shameless Plug 02]

Check out this absolutely ripping pic! I love how the camera focused on the reflection rather than the pendant itself!!

And [begin Shameless Plug 03] I went to see How To Train Your Dragon and it was blooming AWESOME! [end Shameless Plug 03] Okay, mostly. Mainly I was antsy since I'd heard of it because of moral orientation issues (as in, you should have DRAGONS as good guys). And then there is the whole things about "Vikings" having distinctly Irish/Scottish accents (depending on the charrie) but that probably won't bother anyone except me... :P But I think, the deal is, if you recognize that moral orientation is not... oriented properly... I don't think it shouldn't stop you from seeing it. It doesn't claim to be a Christian movie, and in a secular culture of film and literature, it's hard to avoid. There's still good:vs:evil as always. The thing is a secular author can't write a book about sorcery, for example, without using "good" sorcery on the hero's side, because otherwise it's entirely unrealistic and unbelievable. Your villains have to have their power (as in skill, not necessarily magic or something) and so do your heroes, or your story is squat. In a culture where they don't want you to have God be your hero's power, what are they left with? So my point is, recognizing it is half the battle, IMHO. I still can appreciate an interesting premise, or amazing craftsmanship, without buying into their moral orientation.

Spiel over. The Movie Rocked. Very few stupid jokes (and those were even pretty darn innocent), INCREDIBLE visual treat, great charrie development, including a very realistic (and painful) father-son-misunderstanding-relationship. Very very well done, if a little predictable at points. Hilarious, and quotable. Warning :: Seriously adorable dragon will elicit audible squeals, and dazzling flight sequences will elicit audible yelps. Duct-tape is advised. :)

Later, y'all!
AMZi x x x x x

My Creative Space

2010-04-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

My Creative Space today is sunny and tidied. :) That always helps, yes?

A little Photography...

A little Writing...

(Ironically I took pictures of the only 3rd Person narration in the whole chapter... and the only flashback)

A little before-breakfast Crayoning (not pictured) and a little Chopin Waltz (also not pictured). Creative space being forced to sponsor a lot of research and study and homework, unfortunately. :) We'll get by. Head over and see the creative happenings at kootoyoo.

AMZi x x x x x

It Feel's Like I'm Falling...

2010-04-08T09:56:00.000-07:00

...And that's what it's like to Believe...

The future's looking so much brighter.... Do away with Dread, start walking by faith. The sovereignty of God is such a comfort, you know? No matter what happens, I know this :: He's got me Exactly Where He Wants Me. I know I wobble from time to time, and get bogged down in worry about what I'm supposed to be doing, or that I've "missed the boat" in one way or another. That I'm behind, I lost a chance, I closed a door.

But none of that is true. If I closed a door, it was meant to be closed. I'm not behind because there is no behind. I didn't lose a chance that wasn't mine to take. Yes, we go through the agony and stress and hair-tearing wondering as we make our decisions, or choose our paths, or wait for an outcome. That's because we're finite little human beings, and we can't see the end result or the big picture. The point is He Can.

And we should not have to bear the agony and stress, because we know who's in control. And thank God it ain't me! We should approach our choices and decisions from a platform of prayer, and logic. I do believe quietly and composedly sitting down and logically assessing the options is used as a tool of God.

But I'm the first to admit that that's not always possible. Like I said, I'm not above stressing out and panicking and wanting to quit every darn thing that confronts me! At least I know this, no matter what happens, There Is No Regret.

I will Never Regret taking one chance, or NOT taking another one. Looking back, I can always say, "Yes, that was the Right Decision." I believe God's will is immutable and inevitable. Ergo, all of the world's "Missed callings," "Should Have's," "Could Have Been's," and "If Only's" are lies.

Everything rests in His Hands. We are free to move Forward. No Regret. No Fear. Stand Fast.
AMZi x x x x x

PS My current fave song ::

Despues de...

2010-04-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

Jajaja, despues de la clase de matematicas, estoy LOCA! I don't know what it is, but that's all that fills my head. Maybe I should go into engineering, all of a sudden.... Ehh. Not so keen on six years of school. I have senioritis as it is!

So that's my excuse for no interesting, deep, or bouncy post today. Cough. I am beyond saving now and tengo dolor de cabeza and the light is no good for photography!

Estaba pensando en la posibilidad de hacer mi presentacion en la historia de Bolivia. Ayi. Ellos tienen algunos partes de la historia que son... nawsty. Yes. :)

No apologies for the Spanglish! I stole your LEGO! (Hasta luego!)
AMZi x x x x x

PS is this picture awesome, or is it AWESOME? Not mine, but awesome!

Dread

2010-04-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned how much joy I get out of Anticipation. About three quarters of any enjoyment I get out of any activity/event/occurrence/whatever is all experienced beforehand. I'm a daydreamer :: always have been, always will, and somehow the minutes (okay, hours) spent dreaming and thinking and Anticipating never seem like wasted time to me.

For that reason, and because of a healthy dose of OCD, I'm a meticulous planner. Scheduler. I have my days planned out to the nth millisecond (okay, at least in my dreams). I'm not saying I can't be spontaneous. What else can you call it when during an intermission at a play, you suddenly grab your friends and take them off to ride the escalators up and down? Spontaneity is nice, fun, cheerful, all that jazz, but there is a difference between spontaneous fun and a chaotic lifestyle. I hate last minute plan-changes. Touch my schedule and you die. Perhaps we should say, I can be spontaneous, but any spontaneity by other people which infringes on me.... Ahem. But really, you know, it all depends on the circumstance, the timing. I hear they call it Life. :P

Anyway, so my days are spent in the present, as I am easily entertained and take delight in the tiniest details of the Now. My days are also spent in the past, as I am one of those people who like to take our their memories very very often, waltz them across the floor, and delight in them once again. And my days are spent in the future, as I plan and prepare and appreciate.

And often, act out. It must be the storyteller instinct. I plan my life like I plan a book. I shape my character (and sometimes the character of people I know) as I would shape a protagonist's character. It's amazing how much easier everything is to analyze when you think of it this way. Not that things often turn out as planned/acted out/anticipated, but the point is the process itself.

You might say this lifestyle, this method of looking at things, is a lot of fun. Yes indeed. But what you don't know is It Has A Dark Side.

The reverse of Anticipation. Dread. Crippling Dread. I suffer from this fairly often, a direct side effect. And oddly, the opposite is true of what I prefer for Dread. Spontaneity, hit me with your worst! Thrust upon me without warning the most mundane or unpleasant or boring task, without so much as a warning! Anything is better than a Scheduled Horror.

This is why I have to be careful as I make my plans, as I analyze my dreams and aspirations. The Worst Possible Thing for me would be to be locked into a job I couldn't enjoy. I would be paralyzed. Nothing knocks me down like thinking, "Oh. No. I have to do ______ (random bad thing) at the end of the day." There goes my enjoyment of the entire day.

Not healthy. I know it. The trick is finding a way to have the joy of Anticipation without the flip side of Dread. Sometimes I can manage it. Sometimes it hits me in the face, knocks me to the ground, and kneels on my ribcage. Highly unpleasant, let me tell you.

In which cases I usually have an emotional breakdown and have to work through it myself, have a good cleansing agony for awhile, and then I shape up again. I never want help. I never want to be cheered up. But at the same time, I want to know that people would like to help, to cheer me up. So to all my friends and family, if you've ever caught me on a Dread Wobble, and tried to help, and I've kicked you off like a cow with a broken horn, don't take it personally! I do most things alone, and that includes working out of my Wobbles. But thank you for being there and showing me you care. :)

And the intermittent photos scattered through this post are to lighten the mood. A home-made caramel frappuccino helps, too. :)

AMZi x x x x x

The Stories...

2010-04-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

The Pictures on the Camera Tell...

Pippin making my day by making my egg! :) This was from yesterday, actually. How'd it sneak in there? Visit the "Seasonal Stuff to Make" tab up top to make your own! Great work, Pip!!

6:57pm :: I heart words.

6:58pm :: Ooohhh, more words.

4:15pm :: Check out my paperweights! This idea was highly popular a few months ago, and I wrinkled my nose at it. I mean, a crochet-covered ROCK? But then I kept finding myself in need of paperweights while outdoors with my papers flying Every Which Way. So I decided to give it a go. I like! And lots of other people like too. They masqueraded as Easter Eggs yesterday.

4:16pm :: They decide they don't like each others' companies so much after all... :P

1:55pm :: I heart C's color choices at Fiber Arts!

AMZi x x x x x

Christ is Risen!

2010-04-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

He is Risen Indeed!

There are not words for such glory. Happy Easter to you all!

Visitors

2010-04-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

¡Mira quien me dio la bienvenida hoy cuando llegué a casa! Esto feo pero cortés señor se quedó en el otro lado de la ventana de tela metálica. Afortunadamente. A mí no me gustan los insectos en general, o los de seis pies o los de ocho pies. Las mariposas son bellas, pero las polillas, no. Demasiado escamosas.

Pero aquí tienes la primavera :: me encontré con una araña más temprano y ahora, esto caballero. Y su amigo. Es un superhéroe, ¿no? Y el otra es compañero.

Pero acabo de ver la ventana y los dos salieron. ¡Adios! (y no vuelven, por favor)

[[Look who welcomed me today when I got home from work! This ugly but polite gentleman stayed on the other side of the window screen. Thank goodness! I don't like bugs in general, neither six-legged nor eight-legged. Butterflies... mm, they're pretty, but moths, no. Too scaly.

But welcome to spring :: I found a spider earlier this morning and now, this gentleman. And his mate. He's a superhero, yes? And the other guy is his sidekick.

But I just looked at the window and they have gone. Good bye! (and don't come back, if you please!)]]

AMZi x x x x x

amAMZIng!

An Afternoon

Snow Day!

Two Posts in One Day

Snow

Outgrown?

Merry Christmas!

Been a Looong Time

Appendix

Still Alive

Another Trip

Just Keep Swimming...

Camping Trip

Occupied

Long Weekend

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

Excuses

Generally About Music

Favorite Songs...

Authority

Ozymandias

I Want To...

*Cough Wheeze*

Breakthrough

Still Reading...

Happification

Good Day

*Insert Snazzy Post Title*

Waves of Stripes

Coming In For Landing...

Checkin' In

On the Road Again

Off Again

Decision

Knittingbugs

Ladybugs

Freeman Stand or Freeman Fall

More Like WHAT?

Reef All Sails!

Piece of China

Ahoy!

The Report, Concluded

The Report, Continued

I'm Back!

Hello Again

Goodbye

Lists

I Have Been Swayed

Three Things...

Soooooooo...*snore*

Arts of All Sorts

Rain...AGAIN

A Tuesday's Daily Doings

False Start

The Most Un-Blog-Ish Subject

A Quick Note...

My Creative Space

What I'm Reading

Three Reasons

Farmyard Animals

My Late Creative Space

A Visit to the Shipyard....

I've No Complaints

Full Faculty Recovery? Unlikely!

Waltzing Is Easy!

Writing, But Not Here

A Hull...

Warning: Bug Below

Distractions!

A Boat...

A New Project

Smell of Rain

JUST Hear Me Out!

I Wasn't, But I Am

Triangles

Soca River

Thursday

My Creative Space

Methinks I See a Trend

Some Outdoor Pictures

Cough Wheeze

Insert Snazzy Post Title

Soooooooo...snore